jules

Seriously

2009-03-08T19:19:32Z

I have just watched the first two episode of Law & Order: UK, and oh my God, that second episode. I'd been excited about the show coming to TV because hello, Jamie Bamber! And also I have always had a very secret crush on Bradley Walsh, and there a lot of other lovely people in it I like. As for the show itself, it's good. I like it a lot. I am already pretty much in love with Matt, I adore Ronnie and Alesha, and it's pretty solid in its first two episodes.

It does have a few little niggly faults, like feeling as though too much is packed into a scant hour, and I am already sick of the dun dun shwick sound for every location, but I hate that as a gimmick anyway. It's okay in The X-Files, where they have to travel hundreds of miles to other states, but the districts of London? Not so necessary. But that's seriously nitpicky, and I think at the moment the show can only get better as the actors get more comfortable - at the moment, the dialogue is occasionally a bit clunky and sentimental, I think, but they deliver it as well as possible and it's only going to get more natural as they gel more. Ronnie and Matt are already talking over one another, which I love - and how cute are Bradley and Jamie in their interviews? I love it when actors get on well!

I am also probably being nitpicky because seriously, Waking the Dead? It can be awful at times, but Trevor Eve is actually living and fucking breathing his part. He is so unbelievably human in that role, and even though its insanely unrealistic at times, and his behaviour is inappropriate, he does it all so naturally it's very, very watchable. This, though way more realistic and plotwise, much cleverer, isn't quite as magnetic. If they start pushing just a little bit more, it will be fantastic. I really, desperately want this show to do well. And I want hoards of fanfic, please.

BUT, that kid in Episode Two? Possibly the best child actor ever. He totally knocked it out of the ballpark. The rest of these awesome actors weren't even close, and they're good. He was genuinely amazing.

Favourite moments so far: everything with Matt and Ronnie! The helping with his tie, the way Matt goes "I was that kid", which was very slightly clunky, but totally saved by Ronnie just smiling and moving on, not lingering. Excellent! No sentimentalising! Cute! I REALLY, REALLY LOVE THIS SHOW. thisissirius, I see you are in agreement. WRITE SOMETHING PLZ. With naked, sleepy, slightly-hungover but totally cute Colin on top!

Speak for yourself - I am a monster

2009-02-22T14:44:31Z

I feel like I haven't updated in about a million years! Mostly because I haven't had anything to actually post with - I'm hideously behind on all the icon and fic plans that I had. I still love Merlin fandom, and I'm planning on scouring rec lists for everything I haven't read and really should have, recently - our little fandom has exploded! But it's the hiatus, and I always cool off in between brand new episodes. Plus, I've been using all my spare time to indulge my old loves, Gabriel Byrne and Trevor Eve. I cried more at In Treatment than I have at any TV show in a long, long time. I've also been immersing myself in Waking the Dead, reminding myself how much I love crime drama and a fucked up, aggressive prick solving them - seriously, Peter Boyd may be my favourite detective ever. Trevor Eve is just knocking everyone else's acting out of the ballpark with him. ~~I also totally want to write a crossover where he and Sandra Pullman have a history and solve crimes and are ridiculously hot.~~

I do have another excuse for my hermitude(?) - my new job. Which is weird and fun and totally crazy. It's all to do with Scottish heraldry, and I get to chat with Dukes and Viscounts and a million other peers and baronetcies, etc., and lonelyfajita, how cool is this? There are like, loads of Heralds in Scotland, and whatever they are, I call them by their location. So Albany Herald, even though his real name might be Derek Putney (it isn't), has to be called Albany. And so I get to call Unicorn Herald Unicorn. His actual name that people call him by is Unicorn. It's the coolest name of an otherwise not so interesting bunch of names, unfortunately, but still. Unicorns!

Meme time! I've made a pledge to actually read 50 books this year, and despite my new commute every day, by train, I'm ridiculously behind schedule. So I thought I'd fill in this list to make myself feel a bit prouder - feel free to steal!

How do your reading habits stack up? [bold those books you've read in their entirety, italicize the ones you started but didn't finish or are reading]

(I've put *s next to the ones I loved, and #s next to the ones I disliked.)

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee*
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare - This one is a bit unfair, isn't it? I've read many of his plays, but not every single one of them, and his sonnets.
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk - Although first time round I totally skipped to the sexy bits.
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger*
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald*
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh* - And oh, the TV series.
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood*
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt - I preferred her second book.
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold#
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker*
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro*
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom#
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton* My favourite kid's book!
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery - Better in the French.
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks - Possibly the most disgusting book I've read.
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams*
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Defnitely more than six! Yes! And quite a few of those I haven't read or on my list of 50.

Quietly They Go (Merlin)

2009-01-13T22:53:59Z

Title: Quietly They Go
Author: julesoh
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Merlin
Pairing: Arthur/Merlin
Word Count: 739
Summary: "Take as long as you need," Arthur replied, dropping his hand to entwine his fingers with Merlin's.
Spoilers/Warnings: Future fic, barely-there spoilers for 1x09 and 1x10.
Notes: Written for the sixth challenge at merlin_las which, this week, was Merlin in Ealdor, with a 750 word limit.

Merlin trailed his fingers over the roughened, sun-warmed edge of the stone grave-marker. The clear, calm weather felt odd to him: he had seen death in all conditions, from relentless sleet to hazy heatwave, but still he always expected the icy chill that spread through his veins at the passing of a loved one to affect everything around him, too. He could make it snow, if he wanted, but he supposed that it wasn't a terribly practical thing to do.

His lips twitched as he stepped back to view his mother's headstone fully, his muscles remembering how to form a smile but not quite achieving one. Perhaps later, Merlin thought, but for now his grief was still too fresh for that - he could only hold on to the vague sense of amusement that the sheer size of the gravestone arose in him. It dwarfed all the other markers in Ealdor's cemetery and had, of course, been chosen by Arthur. The King may no longer have been the arrogant prat Merlin had encountered on his first day in Camelot - most of the time, anyway - but he was still accustomed to the ostentation of royalty. In the face of Merlin's reeling agony over Hunith's death, Arthur had been glad to take on the practical task of organising the funeral and tribute, but Merlin had been forced to rouse himself from his stupor when he had discovered that Arthur's plans involved a new mausoleum, as grand as that of the royal family itself.

The result of their compromise was the over-large tribute he now stood before; bright and noble against the blue of the unclouded sky. He pushed down a tiny sense of pride at the stature of his mother's headstone, glancing guiltily at the scattering of crooked wooden grave markers surrounding it - Will's included, standing determinedly straight in the shade of an old oak.

The simplicity of those fragile wooden crosses pulled at Merlin's chest, and his gaze fell back onto the ornate lettering on the headstone, travelling up to the engraving of a dove above Hunith's name. Another of Arthur's suggestions, but one that Merlin had not changed at all. "It means purity. Love," he had said, showing him the pattern, and Merlin had almost smiled and then tilted his head.

"What do the gourds above your father's name mean?" he had asked, recalling Uther's grave back in the dark mausoleum in Camelot.

Arthur's lips had flattened. "Deliverance from grief."

He had not heard Arthur's battle-silent approach, but Merlin did not jump as a hand moved to rest on his waist and a long red cape drifted against his ankle.

"Time to leave," Merlin murmured.

"Take as long as you need," Arthur replied, dropping his hand to entwine his fingers with Merlin's.

The gesture made Merlin blink, and he realised that Arthur must have posted guards so that they would not be disturbed. The knowledge allowed him to relax for the first time in many days, and he sagged against Arthur's shoulder with a sigh.

"She … lived to a good age," Arthur said hesitantly, sounding unsure of the comfort his words offered. Merlin almost smiled again; Arthur's gentle hand-hold gave more support than he knew.

"So will we," Merlin said, running his eyes over the sharp blond of Arthur's fringe, the faint suggestion of a wrinkle or two at the edges of his mouth. He didn't look a day over thirty. The past forty years had treated him well.

Arthur's other hand reached up to curl into his hair. It was as thick and dark as ever, Merlin knew. His joints were as springy as a twenty-year-old's. Gaius, before his passing, had suggested that their retained youthfulness was linked to their parentage. They had frowned at him, confused, and he had adopted the world-weary expression with which they were both so familiar. "You were both born of magic," he had stressed. "Partly, at least."

"You look no different than you did the day we met," Arthur mused quietly. "You'd better pick something fantastic to go above my name, Merlin. Otherwise I'll come back and haunt you."

His tone was light, but Merlin clutched at his hand desperately. "No," he said, shocked at the guttural rasp of his voice. "I will not outlive you," he insisted, glaring into Arthur's wide, concerned blue eyes. "Do you understand?"

The confusion faded from Arthur's features, and his thumb rubbed gently against Merlin's palm. "Yes," he whispered after a moment. "Yes. I understand."

End.

Soldered (Merlin)

2009-01-02T16:40:07Z

Title: Soldered
Author: julesoh
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Merlin
Pairing: Arthur/Merlin
Word Count: 10300
Summary: Merlin fell to the side, clutching at his leg in agony, and the blue sky dimmed and wavered in his vision, ice-white clouds mocking him as they swirled. He opened his mouth to cry out, but a name came to his lips instead, unbidden: “Arthur.”
Spoilers: Set sometime between 1x09 Excalibur and 1x10 The Moment of Truth, though I don't think it fits too well into canon anymore given later episodes - it was written before the final three aired.
Notes: Written for b_c_draygon in the merlin_the_elf ficathon - which has some truly awesome entries, check it out - for a prompt involving Arthur fighting for Uther's approval.

The pain slammed into Merlin’s thigh without warning, sending him crashing to his knees, the supplies Gaius had asked him to fetch scattering over the cobbles. Nobody rushed to his aid; all of Camelot had gathered to watch the penultimate day of fighting in the tournament and the streets were deserted.

Merlin fell to the side, clutching at his leg in agony, and the blue sky dimmed and wavered in his vision, ice-white clouds mocking him as they swirled. He opened his mouth to cry out, but a name came to his lips instead, unbidden: “Arthur.”

Gaius’ herbs and tinctures forgotten, Merlin pushed himself painfully to his feet and sprinted up the hill, his thigh threatening to crumple. By the time he reached Gaius, standing at the ready at the entrance to the arena, the pain had faded to a dull roar, but there was still panic flaring heatedly in his chest.

“Where is he? Why aren’t you-” Merlin demanded breathlessly, then sagged against Gaius in bemused relief as Arthur and Sir Eoghan swept past in a flurry of thrusts and strikes, grunting heavily.

“Merlin, what on earth?” Gaius asked incredulously. “What’s the matter with your leg?”

Merlin, rubbing the ache, batted his eyes in confusion. “I thought Arthur had been injured,” he said unsteadily. “I thought I felt it.”

“Probably cramp,” Gaius sniffed, though his arm was still supporting Merlin’s elbow warmly. “Where are the herbs I asked you to fetch?”

“Er,” Merlin began, but at his guilty grimace Gaius cut him off with a tap to the back of his head and a long-suffering sigh.

Merlin stood straighter and concentrated on the battle, the last of the day. If Arthur won this match, he would compete in the final tomorrow, against the fearsome Lord Avery, a giant of a man whose stature had made Merlin gulp and shiver when he had first laid eyes on him.

Arthur’s present opponent, Sir Eoghan, was a much closer match to Arthur’s height and build, though he had fifteen years on Arthur.

“That’s good, right?” Merlin had asked earlier that day, eyes nervously following the dangerous-looking competitors as they prepared before the match. He yelped as his finger became trapped between Arthur’s couter and vambrace, and sucked at the injured digit in annoyance.

“Pay attention,” Arthur had scolded with a roll of his eyes, and then he’d cleared his throat and admitted, “Not necessarily. Age does eventually slow a man down, but Sir Eoghan is in his prime at the moment. He is not only likely to be just as fast as I am, but considerably stronger.”

“But, you’re still better, right?” Merlin had hedged cautiously as he fiddled with Arthur’s chain mail.

“Of course,” Arthur had retorted, eyes flicking over to where King Uther was talking with another of the knights competing in the tournament. “I never lose.”

Merlin knew that Arthur had an impeccable record when it came to tournaments, and he knew also that Arthur was an extremely capable warrior, but these men who had arrived in Camelot to compete in this tournament were truly some of the largest, most fearsome men he had ever seen.

And they were men, too, with many campaigns behind them, tough and muscled and strong. Arthur was now the youngest in the competition, the two younger than he currently residing in the infirmary with a head wound and a laceration to the arm respectively - and Merlin had seen both of those young men fight before with impressive skill. Arthur also seemed much smaller than these men - Merlin had always seen Arthur as something of a giant himself, not overly impressive in height but intimidating, with his thick, broad shoulders and solid chest. Yet his breadth was nothing compared to that of many of these knights, especially Lord Avery, whose servants had to wobble on boxes to dress him and were forced to stand four feet away from him in order to meet his eyes without straining their necks.

As Merlin watched Arthur drive his shoulder into Sir Eoghan’s chest with a strained growl, only to be knocked aside roughly with a blow to the neck from Eoghan’s shield, he thought that it might almost be better if Arthur were to lose this match and avoid the certain-to-be-painful fight with Avery. Yet that was never going to be a possibility, he knew, not while the king was watching.

He glanced at Uther as he stood and roared with the rest of the crowd, screaming at Arthur to move as Eoghan brought his sword down, hard, aiming at Arthur’s helmet.

Arthur twisted away at the last possible moment, the blow scraping the side of his shield and only just missing his head, and Merlin suddenly gasped as his thigh flared up again and nearly buckled.

As he squeezed his eyes shut in pain, the crowd let out a collective hiss, but when he stood up and searched for the reason for their horror, the two men were already locked in fierce battle once more.

“What happened?” he asked Gaius desperately, noting the physician’s concerned frown as he watched the match.

“Arthur stumbled,” Gaius told him. “He recovered, but … I’m not so sure that blade didn’t cause damage after all.”

“What blade?” Merlin demanded frantically.

“Sir Eoghan’s sword became entangled in the hem of Arthur’s chain mail - by his thigh - while you were away wrecking my supplies. It didn’t seem to cause any damage - at least, Arthur was perfectly able to continue. Bring him to my rooms after the match, I‘ll take a look at it.”

Merlin breathed in shakily, all of his focus on the fight, but as he watched he became aware of a faint thrum of magic in his bones - more intense than it usually was, though not as fierce as when he was deliberately casting a spell.

The fight was becoming more desperate, both men tiring visibly, and backing off to breathe heavily and recoup their energy between vicious bouts. They had been battling for close to an hour, Merlin realised, slashing and thrusting with no breaks. Arthur, he noticed, was favouring his right leg, but Eoghan was also pulling at his shoulder in clear pain.

“What will happen if neither of them can beat the other?” Merlin asked. It was not something he had seen in any of Camelot’s tournaments so far, but he supposed there had to be an eventuality in that situation.

“They will fight until there is a clear victor,” Gaius informed him. “Until one of them yields, they will do battle.”

Merlin gulped, then winced as Arthur and Eoghan’s swords met once more with a ringing crash. “Come on, Arthur,” he muttered, ignoring the growing ache in his thigh. “Finish it.”

It took another five minutes before Arthur was able to do as Merlin begged, gaining a sudden burst of speed and dodging under a slightly too-high strike by Eoghan. Twirling round, he slammed his blade against Eoghan’s back, knocking him off balance, and when Eoghan turned to make his counter attack, he kicked out at his shield, knocking both it and Eoghan flying.

From there, all Arthur needed to do was step on Eoghan’s sword and press the tip of his own blade to Eoghan’s throat, and the crowd erupted into a frenzied cheer.

Merlin grinned along with them, Gaius too, but his eyes were drawn to the slow, uneven gait Arthur adopted as he exited the arena after throwing his arms into the air victoriously and bowing to Sir Eoghan.

“Make sure he gets that leg checked out,” Gaius said, nudging Merlin’s shoulder, then headed back to the infirmary to check on his other patients.

Merlin fell in with Arthur as he walked back to his tent, reaching out to take his helmet as Arthur removed it with a groan and pushed back his coif, shaking loose dark, sweat-soaked hair.

Worry coiled immediately in Merlin’s stomach at the pallor under Arthur’s flushed cheeks, and he steered Arthur into their tent and pushed him over to a chair.

“No!” Arthur ground out, his first words since leaving the arena - which was worrying in itself, Arthur had usually given Merlin ten different commands by this point. “If I sit - there’s something wrong with my leg.”

Merlin dropped to one knee, ignoring the discomfort in his own thigh, and gingerly peeled Arthur’s chain mail and tunic up. “You’re bleeding,” he announced, horror lacing his words. Up close, Arthur’s dark trousers were soaked through and sticky, and at the slightest touch Merlin’s fingers came away bright red. “You’re bleeding,” he repeated, waving his hand in Arthur’s face. “We need to get to Gaius, now.”

“No!” Arthur objected again. “It doesn’t feel painful. It’s just weak, and my father will be here any moment.”

“And as soon as he is here he will tell you to stop being a prat and go to Gaius,” Merlin hissed, smacking Arthur’s hands away from his armour as he attempted to undo it with awkward fingers and taking over the task.

“Arthur,” Uther said, sweeping into the tent.

Merlin watched as Arthur’s eyes brightened as he looked on his father, and he nodded at the king respectfully.

“Sire-” Arthur began, but Uther cut him off swiftly.

“You took far too long to beat him,” he growled, and Merlin felt Arthur’s flinch even through the metal plates on his shoulders. He was hard pressed not to cringe himself - Uther’s voice had taken on that frighteningly icy tone that always made him shiver, and it was doubly affecting given that Uther and Arthur’s relationship seemed to have improved in recent weeks.

“He was a worthy opponent,” Arthur attempted.

“Lord Avery is twice the fighter Eoghan is, and you will have to face him tomorrow. If you make any silly mistakes like getting his sword stuck in your hauberk - you!” he addressed Merlin suddenly. “You will take his mail and repair it for tomorrow so that it is no longer a danger in the arena, do you understand?”

Merlin stuttered an affirmative as he removed the last of Arthur’s armour, and kept his eyes on the battered metal as Uther left his son with just a few parting words: “I expect the best from you, Arthur. Make me proud.”

In his wake, Arthur seemed to tremble, eyes fixed on the rich red flap through which Uther had just left.

“I’m sure he’s just concerned,” Merlin began hesitantly, and then gasped as Arthur listed sideways, all remaining colour draining from his cheeks. “I’m going to fetch Gaius and a litter,” he decided, but at that Arthur roused and gripped Merlin’s jacket fiercely.

“Don’t you dare. Get me to Gaius, now, without drawing any attention. Don’t let me down, Merlin.”

“You can’t walk,” Merlin protested, but Arthur snarled at him savagely.

“Shut up, and get me there.”

---

Merlin did, somehow, but between Arthur’s increasing light-headedness and the growing stab of pain in his own leg, they made a strange picture, hobbling along like a pair of old men who had lost their canes.

“Don’t let my father know,” Arthur mumbled for about the tenth time as Merlin struggled to open the door and keep the prince standing, and Merlin grimaced as they fell into the infirmary noisily.

“He’s bleeding,” Merlin informed Gaius, who rushed over to help. “A lot.”

“I can’t feel a thing,” Arthur said woozily as he was helped onto a cot.

“Lucky you,” Merlin muttered, and waved Gaius away when he leaned over him in concern. “I’m fine, sort him out and I’ll explain. Or try to, anyway.”

Gaius looked torn, but as the sheets under Arthur’s leg began to grow dark with his blood, he quickly got to work. “Make a tourniquet,” he ordered Merlin, who set about the task with nervous fingers.

Arthur wasn’t fully unconscious, but he didn’t look as though he was entirely alert to his surroundings as Merlin pulled the tourniquet tight, and it was Merlin who had to hold back a scream of pain as his own thigh spasmed violently, as though someone had shoved a red hot poker into a wound.

Gaius returned, expertly cutting around Arthur’s wound and pulling the fabric away to reveal a deep, nasty-looking gash where Eoghan’s sword must have entered. “Arthur, there’s no way you should have been able to stay upright with this,” he said, shocked, as he applied pressure and motioned to Merlin to start cleaning the blood away from the surrounding area.

Arthur mumbled incoherently in response.

“Hopefully, Sir Eoghan keeps a clean sword,” Gaius said grimly, and then looked at Merlin’s leg, his eyes widening in shock. “Merlin - you’re glowing.”

Merlin nearly lost his grip on Arthur’s thigh as he cast his eyes downward and found that there really was a pale white light filtering through the rough fabric of his trousers, and he looked around frantically.

“It’s all right, the others are in private rooms,” Gaius reassured him, then glanced at Arthur. “The blood loss and reaction mean he won’t see a thing.”

Merlin felt all around his thigh, but despite the white-hot pain, he could discern no actual injury. “It’s in the exact same place as Arthur’s, isn’t it?” he asked.

Gaius nodded, looking lost for words himself.

“It’s why he’s not feeling any pain. I’m not doing this on purpose, Gaius. I don’t even know how I’m doing this. Is he going to be all right? It hasn’t hit that big blood vessel, has it?”

“I see you’ve been studying your anatomy a little - no, he would have been dead within minutes if it had,” Gaius said, which Merlin supposed was reassuring. “He will live, but I doubt that he could have continued the fight if he had felt the pain you took from him. Now he is here, there is no need for you to keep carrying it - you look no better than him.”

Merlin had to admit he felt awful, the pain in his leg making his eyes water and his stomach churn queasily. “I don’t know how,” he said. And he wasn’t sure he wanted to - surely Arthur being in no pain was less stress upon his body.

Gaius grabbed his wrist and tugged. “I need Arthur to be able to tell me how bad the wound feels to him. And I need you conscious enough to help me when I stitch him up.” He tilted his head at Merlin, who nodded reluctantly. “Right, take a deep breath and close your eyes.”

Merlin obeyed, and although at first the nausea and pain seemed to increase, Gaius’ soothing voice penetrated his ears and some of the ache began to ebb away. “Relax. Try and feel your magic, Merlin, just find it.”

Finding it was easier than he had expected; a low hum in his blood that was louder than usual, a constant buzzing through his nerves. “I have it.”

“Gather it, Merlin, and then push. Let it go.”

Merlin screwed up his eyes in concentration, and if Gaius said anything more to him, he was not aware. He did not know how long he sat there, although he suspected it was a shorter time than it felt, but when he opened his eyes again it was with a sigh of relief as his leg relaxed and he could finally breathe easily once more.

His smile fell from his lips immediately when Arthur arched off the bed with a strangled moan, arms searching out the wound on his leg uselessly, but insistently.

“Hold him still,” Gaius ordered, and Merlin half knelt on the bed to pin Arthur’s arms, looking back desperately at Gaius as he threaded the needle and Arthur writhed semi-consciously.

“I shouldn’t have stopped it,” he cried, biting his lip as Arthur groaned again. “I don’t know how to do it again!”

“Merlin!” Arthur’s voice, thready and weak, shocked him, and he looked down to see Arthur’s eyes cease rolling in their sockets, dark with pain but more lucid now. “I’m the one who’s been stabbed, stop raving!”

“I’m sorry,” Merlin blurted, unable to help himself, and Arthur’s next eye roll was intentional.

“You’re not the one who stabbed me. And it’s hardly your fault I choose not to wear mail on my legs.” He gasped as Gaius pinched the skin over the wound together. “Gaius, how is it?”

“Lucky,” Gaius informed him darkly. “Bad enough that you should have stopped fighting immediately.”

“It didn’t feel that bad at the time,” Arthur said between gritted teeth, and raised an eyebrow at Merlin. “You don’t have to hold me anymore, I’m fine.”

Merlin eased back carefully, but Arthur stayed still as Gaius sutured the wound, the only sign of his pain now the white-knuckled grip he had on the sheets.

Merlin glanced down as Gaius did his work, and immediately wished he hadn’t - he had always hated watching Gaius tend to this kind of injury, the ones where there was a lot of blood and skin. He turned away and lifted his eyes to the ceiling, clamping his eyes shut as a wave of dizziness washed over him, and his ears began to roar.

“Merlin,” Arthur said with a tap to his side that Merlin suspected should have been a poke, “if you faint like a girl, I will never let you live it down.”

Merlin risked a look down, but Arthur’s stupid, stoic smile was ruined by the horrid grey cast to his skin and the lines of tension stretching across his forehead.

“He didn’t quite cut through to the bone,” Gaius’ voice floated up from further down the bed. “How does it feel?”

“Fantastic,” Arthur gasped.

“Arthur.”

“It’s bearable - no worse than I’d expect. It’s gone through the muscle, though, hasn’t it?”

“Yes,” Gaius said grimly, tying off the thread. “You won’t be able to fight tomorrow.”

Arthur bared his teeth. “I will,” he ground out, his voice lower and more dangerously angry than Merlin had ever heard it before. He glanced at Gaius, who was wearing the same expression Merlin had seen many times before, the one that inferred that he was an absolute foolish idiot with not even a hint of common sense.

Gaius heaved a weary sigh. “If you think you can stand on it, fine,” he said casually.

Arthur set his jaw and shuffled his legs over the side of the bed, and gripped the wooden sides with a grimace as he prepared to stand.

Merlin braced himself, just in case the pain returned to his own leg, but Arthur’s yell assured him that was not going to happen. Feeling oddly disappointed at the lack of agonising pain, he reached out automatically to steady Arthur and push him back down.

“It will feel better tomorrow,” Arthur panted, carefully settling down once more.

“You know that it will be worse tomorrow, hell the day after, and only then will it start to feel better,” Gaius said patiently, and despite his vague I-told-you-so tone, Merlin could see the sympathy in his eyes.

Evidently Arthur could, too, for he didn’t snap at Gaius but merely threw his head back against the rough pillows with a faint huff of frustration. “I’ve never dropped out of a tourney in my life,” he said tiredly, reaching one hand up to brush at his sweaty hair.

“The court won’t think you’re a coward because of this,” Merlin attempted, gesturing at the angry-looking wound.

“It’s not the court whose opinion I care about,” Arthur murmured, scrubbing at his eyes. Gaius and Merlin exchanged a significant glance over the top of his head. “Get on with it, then.”

“Of course,” Gaius said, going over to the fire. Merlin frowned in confusion, and Arthur offered him a dry, humourless grin.

“Cauterisation, Merlin. Going to stick around?”

“I’ll, er, fetch some water,” Merlin said, wrinkling his nose already, and made a face when Arthur looked pointedly at the water supply already installed in the infirmary. “From somewhere else.”

---

When he returned, a half-filled pail hooked on his elbow, the infirmary doors were open and Gaius had lit some incense to chase away the smell of burning flesh. He made to check on Arthur, seeing the blond head peeking over the cuff of the blankets - nice, warm blankets, he noted, possibly stolen from his own bed - but Gaius intercepted him. “He’s sleeping. Leave him for now.”

Taking advantage of Arthur’s slumber, Merlin sat at the table as Gaius stirred what he presumed was his dinner. “Why was I feeling his pain?”

“If you don’t know yourself, Merlin, then I’m not sure how to answer that,” Gaius responded, but the vertical line between his eyebrows made Merlin sit up straighter.

“But you have some idea, don’t you?” he asked.

Gaius looked at him, his brow creased into concerned lines. “Do you remember when Nimueh poisoned you?”

Merlin raised his eyebrows. “Er, yeah, I vaguely recall,” he said with a quirk of his lips.

“But you remember nothing of actually being unconscious?” Gaius pressed.

Merlin frowned. He had hazy memories of pain, extreme heat, of a horrible darkness and nauseating despair. “Nothing clear,” he replied after a moment, suppressing a shiver.

“While you were unconscious, you became agitated and restless, moaning and calling out Arthur’s name in your sleep,” Gaius said. Merlin blushed furiously and ducked his head, praying that Gaius would get to the point of the story quickly. “You summoned some kind of orb that glowed as your thigh did earlier. I had my suspicions earlier that it helped Arthur in some way - when he came to me after returning, while you were still recovering, he said something about escaping only because he followed a light. He seemed somewhat confused and shaken up by the entire affair - and this is too much of a coincidence.”

“So, you think-” Merlin asked, waving a hand vaguely at his thigh and over at Arthur, and looking up at Gaius expectantly.

“I think that you or your magic can sense when Arthur is in dire need of your assistance, and you automatically help him. You saved his life when he went to fetch the Mortaeus flower, and today you kept him on his feet when he surely would have fallen otherwise.”

“His life wasn’t in danger, though. Not today - this is not a tournament to the death,” Merlin mused. “But he is desperate to win this competition - if his injury is revealed, will he be allowed to fight?”

“He shouldn’t be,” Gaius warned. “Technically, he could still take part. But there is no way Uther would allow it, if he saw the wound. There is too much potential for disaster.”

Merlin took a long look at Arthur as he shifted on the cot, a grimace flashing over his features before he settled down, one hand reaching out to brush over the hilt of the sword leaning against the wall beside him.

He looked back at Gaius, who pursed his lips and said, “No,” immediately.

“You don’t even know what I was going to ask.”

“Yes, I do,” Gaius said, spooning out what looked like stew and placing Merlin’s bowl down in front of him firmly. “You want me to keep the seriousness of his wound from Uther.”

Merlin opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, aware from Arthur’s comments that the action made him look like a fish, but he had to consent that Gaius was right; that had been what he was going to ask. “I know I have no right to ask you,” he said after a moment’s thought, chewing on his lip. “You already protect me so much, and your duty is to Uther, not to Arthur.”

Gaius squinted at him from across the table, but said nothing, giving Merlin permission to continue.

“If, as you say, I took Arthur’s pain today because he desperately wanted to stay on his feet and win the match, so that he could become champion tomorrow, then his need must really have been dire,” Merlin said. “He needs to prove himself to Uther, or at least feels that he does. I’m supposed to look out for him, to help him - if I can take his pain tomorrow, then I’ll be doing that!”

“I thought the dragon told you to protect his life, not preserve his happiness,” Gaius said snippily, though Merlin was sure he could sense a softening in his voice.

“Arthur spends most of his time trying to be exactly how Uther wants him to be, and the other half feeling guilty because his father’s expectations aren’t always … logical.”

“In this case, Uther would not be suffering his usual paranoia, merely acting out of worry for his son’s safety,” Gaius pointed out.

“That’s not how Arthur would see it.” Merlin cast his eyes down at his bowl. “I don’t say this enough, but I know how lucky I am that you don’t hold me to such high expectations, and that you show me affection.”

Peering up through his lashes, Merlin saw Gaius’s shoulders relax and a soft sigh escape his lips, and he straightened a little, only to receive a sharp whack on the head from an errant roll of parchment that Gaius chose as a weapon. “You’ve made your point, Merlin, don’t get overly sentimental,” he said, but after a moment’s consideration, with a warm smile, he added, “Thank you.”

“Does that mean you’ll help me? And him?” Merlin asked.

Gaius hesitated, still reluctant, but before they could continue their conversation the door to the infirmary was flung open with a bang, and Uther strode in imperiously.

“My shoulder is giving me hell in that wretched seat, Gaius,” he began impatiently, then catches sight of his son on the other side of the room. “Arthur!”

Arthur woke with a jolt, snapping to attention immediately, but Merlin was sure that were it not for Uther’s presence then he would not have been able to stifle a yell of pain.

“Are you injured? That damn hauberk!” Uther spat, but his eyes were hard only with fear, Merlin noted.

“My leg,” Arthur began reluctantly, and Merlin felt suddenly and horrifically sick, seeing that the prince’s eyes were dark not just with physical pain but with what he thought he recognised as shame. A look he had seen before on Arthur’s countenance, most prominently when Uther had dismissed him from his chambers over the incident with Knight Valiant, crossed his face.

He bit down hard on his cheek and wished violently that he knew some magic that could change what was happening, but he knew that the situation was too far out of hand and that even if he could wipe memories or somehow take Arthur’s pain once more, he had no ability to cure wounds such as this.

“It’s just a scratch,” he heard someone say, remarkably airily, and he gawped for a minute in confusion, seeing the same surprise flit across Arthur’s features, before he realised that it was Gaius who had spoken, and the physician was gearing up for a casual but nuanced performance fit for the stage. “Eoghan’s sword scratched Arthur’s leg a little, nothing serious, of course, but he very sensibly came to me to see if I had any salves to make sure it would not be a bother to him tomorrow. He’s quite well, sire, but I also gave him a potion to stave off any aches and pains that might hinder his mobility in the fight against Lord Avery.”

Gaius stepped between Arthur and Uther nonchalantly, offering the king a laid-back, easily reassuring smile. Arthur’s grin was a little too falsely bright as he assured his father of the benefits of the fictional salve, but after a moment‘s scrutiny, Uther seemed to relax.

“Good,” he said, allowing a stern smile to cross his lips, and Merlin saw the king’s back loosen visibly. “I look forward to seeing your victory tomorrow, Arthur,” Uther then added, and Arthur’s smile grew impossibly tighter, and fell the moment Uther turned back to Gaius.

“My lord,” Gaius said respectfully, and Merlin admired his ability to stay so calm.

“Perhaps you could see fit to send some of this fantastic salve for aches and pains up to my rooms before dark,” he said silkily, then turned to Merlin, who froze. “And aren’t you supposed to be seeing to Arthur’s armour?”

“Oh, yeah!” Merlin said, pasting a grin on his face. Uther cocked his head expectantly at him and he jerked. “Oh, right now, okay - I’m just going to fetch my book.” Gaius shot him a glare, and he stumbled over his tongue to explain. “My book on cleaning armour, that is,” he said, then bolted into his chambers, grabbed his book of magic from under his bed and muttered a quick disguising spell over it.

He offered Uther and Gaius a jaunty wave as he exited the infirmary, and spared a glance for Arthur, whose pallor was evident, and hoped vainly that he had made the right decision.

---

Merlin stayed in the armoury until well past dark, performing his usual spells in order to clean and repair Arthur’s armour, then checking it over manually countless times to make sure that there was nothing that he had missed - that every piece was oiled and smooth-edged, particularly the hauberk, which was stained with a few flakes of dark brown where Eoghan’s sword had caused the damage.

He then spent another two hours painstakingly going through the well-worn pages of his book, curled up on a stool in a spare red cloak, trying desperately to find a spell that could help him form that odd connection with Arthur once more. He even read through the more complicated potions in the latter half of the book, which he generally tried to stay away from as he hated any form of cookery, and considered potion-making to be a glorified form of that.

Finding nothing that didn’t require the blood of a cockatrice or the tears of a unicorn, he scrubbed sleep from his eyes and headed back to his rooms, only to find that Gaius had moved Arthur from the cot in the infirmary into Merlin’s bed, and was leaning over the prince dabbing at his forehead with a damp cloth.

“He’s got a fever?” Merlin asked, his stomach curling unpleasantly.

“Mild,” Gaius confirmed. “The wound is not hot - it’s a result of shock and exhaustion, most likely, but it needs to be kept from rising further.”

His tone was casual, but the line over the bridge of his nose had deepened, and as Merlin stowed the book away right at the back of his cupboard, he felt the vague feelings of apprehension and uncertainty that had been plaguing him since Gaius had lied to Uther begin to swamp him.

“What can I do?” he asked in a croak, hovering at the foot of the bed and wringing his hands as Arthur shifted fussily, his cheeks no longer white but flushed an unhealthy cherry red.

Gaius looked at him. “You can relax, for starters, and stop feeling guilty,” he said, his voice adopting the soothing tone Merlin knew so well. “I chose to lie to Uther - I could just have easily said no. And I did it for Arthur as much as I did it for you.” He re-wetted the cloth and ran it over Arthur’s forehead, pushing the darkened hair off his face. “Uther loves his son dearly, but I’m afraid that it isn’t always easy for Arthur to see that. You already know this.”

“If Arthur can win this, Uther will be pleased, and Arthur will be happy,” Merlin murmurs.

“And his happiness is important to you, yes?” Gaius pressed quietly. Merlin felt his own cheeks burn, and nodded his admittance of the fact.

There was a silence, punctuated only by Arthur’s breathing, loud and huffing in his discomfort, then Gaius laid down the cloth and stood, and gestured to the chair he had placed beside Arthur’s bed. It was one of the high-backed, more comfortable chairs that Gaius used to do paperwork in, and Merlin sank into it with a sigh, grateful not only for the proximity to Arthur but for the blanket Gaius passed to him.

“He should sleep well enough,” Gaius informed him. “If he becomes restless, cool his face. Otherwise, get some sleep. I’ll leave open the door so you can call me if you need to.”

“What are you going to do?” Merlin asked, already feeling his eyelids growing heavier as he settled down.

“Apparently,” Gaius said, grimacing at Merlin, “I have to invent a new miracle salve to cure aches and pains.”

“Oh, no,” Merlin said, suddenly sitting up straight. “I need to find some way to take Arthur’s pain tomorrow.” He made to stand and fetch his book again, but Gaius pushed him back down onto the chair with a concerned frown.

“Sleep. You’ll be no use to him if you’re so tired you can’t stand. The match isn’t scheduled until tomorrow afternoon, you can search for an answer tomorrow morning. Trust your magic, Merlin. It will work for you.”

Unable to resist the pull of tiredness any longer - the moon was high in the sky now, nearly half the night gone - Merlin let his eyes fall shut, one hand reaching out to grasp the corner of Arthur’s blankets. His fingers remained tight around the fabric as he slept.

---

The castle is filled with high orange flames, every corridor thick with smoke and heat, and the stone walls blister Merlin’s palms as he tries to navigate his way to an exit. He fumbles for his scarf with trembling, sooty fingers, meaning to pull it over his nose and mouth, but his hands encounter nothing but the drawstrings of his shirt.

He turns a corner and skids to a halt, facing Morgana, her cheeks burning angrily as flames lick at the train of her dress. She looks at him with parted lips and red-rimmed eyes, her mouth pinched in sad accusation.

Merlin moves instinctively towards her, reaching out, but when he gets close the flames roar and crackle, and she fades into the glare with a wounded expression as Merlin lets out an anguished yell, his vision blurring as he stumbles towards another corridor.

The tears are seared from his cheeks by the heat, and the breath is ripped from his smoke-choked lungs by the next sight that greets him: his own mirror image, ducking and dodging helplessly as the fire sparks and bites at his sleeves. He meets his own eyes with a gasp, seeing the flames reflected in his golden pupils, glowering at him with loss and betrayal.

Merlin reaches out desperately, but his reflection retreats and vanishes as Morgana did, and as he leans he is struck by a sudden twinge in his hip. Glancing down, he sees the source of the pain, the hilt of a sword that he does not usually carry digging into his waist.

Merlin feels as though his heart is beating irregularly, skipping against his ribs, and he slowly, gingerly raises his hands to his face, taking in the unfamiliar thickness of his palms, the calluses that do not match his own.

“You cannot save them, Arthur,” a voice sounds behind him, cool in the sweltering heat, and Merlin whirls around to meet Uther’s hard gaze.

“Why not?” he asks, lips dry and sore.

“They defy me. My laws. That is why they burn. Will you do the same?”

Merlin gapes, and feels fresh tears prick his eyes at the twisted screams of himself and Morgana at his back. “I cannot leave them,” he croaks.

Uther’s eyes flash icily. “Then you must betray me instead.”

Merlin blinks, feeling at his waist for the unfamiliar sword, heavy and raw on his hands, and unsheathes it. “Father,” he murmurs, then louder, “Father!” and he drives the blade home.

“Merlin. Merlin, wake up!” Gaius’ worried tones roused him from the nightmare, his hands still tingling and his nerves fried and singed from the feel of fire against his skin. “I can cope with just one of you having a nightmare, but not both!”

Merlin coughed into consciousness, pushing up against Gaius’ soothing hand on his chest, and shook his head to clear the last of the smoke away. A plaintive moan reached his ears and brought him entirely to his senses and he focused on the source of the moan; Arthur, flailing hopelessly on the bed, kicking his covers away in obvious distress.

Merlin moved automatically, brushing past Gaius’ concerned hands and kneeling over Arthur on the bed. He could hear Gaius talking, telling him that Arthur was caught in some nightmare he couldn’t wake from, still under the influence of the mild sleeping draught Gaius had given him earlier. “I don’t know how to help him,” Gaius finished, and though his voice was muffled under the pounding in Merlin’s ears, he caught the uncharacteristic note of panic in the physician’s tone.

“I do,” Merlin said, though he wasn’t entirely sure if it came out in English. That insistent buzz in his veins had returned, and this time Merlin was attuned to it entirely - could feel how strong it was; how ready it was to be used.

Merlin did not consider himself a particularly trusting person, and had in fact become increasingly distrustful during his time in Camelot, but he had always been able to rely on his magic, and so when he pulled on that cord of power, taking control, he tried not to think too hard about it. He let his eyes close and simply concentrated on Arthur, placing his hands on either side of the prince’s strong jaw.

Arthur’s skin was hot and stubble-rough against his thumbs, and he thrashed weakly in Merlin’s grip so that his lips caught against Merlin’s palms, just for a moment, before Merlin tugged his head back up and breathed out with his magic, letting it flow into his fingertips.

He heard a sharp yell as a connection established, different from before but still the same, and the image of himself burning once again entered his mind. He suspected briefly that the yell had been his own, and dimly registered Gaius’ hands skittering over his back worriedly.

He could feel everything just as vividly as he could five minutes ago: the horrendous heat, the ashy air, and the rotten sensation of powerlessness as he watched himself and Morgana burn through Arthur’s fevered vision.

Merlin opened his eyes to see that his hands were glowing, a peculiar pearly luminescence emanating from his palms and fingers that bathed not just Arthur’s face in its shine but the entire room. He focused on that glow, letting it fill his vision and his mind, chasing the flames and Uther’s chilly smile away, like cold water over a burn.

Arthur’s jaw, cupped between his hands, loosened, and his eyes and lips softened as Merlin forced their minds to relax, pushing back all fear and doubt until Arthur’s head fell to the side and he laid it gently on the pillow, sliding his hands away and sitting up.

“Merlin, what-” Gaius breathed beside him, and Merlin turned to him with a delighted, successful grin which fell almost instantly from his lips as that thread of magic, so powerful, drained from his grasp in an instant, too quickly for him to catch a hold of it.

“It’s gone!” he cried, frantically pressing his hands back against Arthur’s now blessedly cool cheeks. “I can’t - Gaius-”

“Easy,” Gaius soothed, pulling him away from the bed. Merlin tried to fight him for a second before realising that his limbs were like jelly, all strength sapped from them, and then he let Gaius usher him back onto the chair. “You helped him, Merlin. You used your magic. That means you can use it again.”

“I can’t control it, not properly,” Merlin gasped, and was only half-surprised to hear his voice sounding like a sob, his breath tight and hard in his chest. “I can’t summon it.”

“It will come, when you need it. When Arthur needs it, that’s been proven tonight,” Gaius said, crouching so that he was eye-level with Merlin. “You have to trust that it will.”

Merlin took a few deep, choking breaths, and looked over at where Arthur was now sleeping soundly, covers still flung back and the bandage around his leg stained with a few spots of blood. He blinked, and the image of Uther’s face, mocking and expecting and cruel, jumped into his mind’s eye. When he next looked up at Gaius, his eyes were nearly black with steely determination. “I cannot leave it to chance.”

---

Merlin, at Gaius’ insistence, lay down on one of the infirmary cots for another couple of hours, trying to get some sleep, but he managed a light doze at most, which he kept jerking awake from, his head filled with the terrific weight of the emotions he had encountered in Arthur’s dream - emotions that had surprised him not just because of their nature - fear, for he and Morgana, and utter hollowness and dread at the thought of betraying or disappointing Uther, but also their shocking intensity. Arthur was so gleefully glib and sarcastic most of the time that Merlin found it difficult to believe that so much could possibly be brewing under the surface, and yet when he recalled some of the occasions when Arthur did actually adopt a serious tone, he thought that perhaps the prince could have more depth than he had suspected. Than anyone suspected.

“I thought I was the one who was horrifically wounded yesterday, but you’re the one who looks more affected by blood loss, Merlin,” Arthur said as he hobbled down the stairs later that morning, stressing Merlin’s name in that taunting manner he seemed to so much enjoy. The light, teasing manner made Merlin relax, just a little, as he sat at the table and picked unenthusiastically at an apple. “You look whiter than Morgana in winter. Miss out on your beauty sleep?”

“Your sleep was unaffected?” Merlin asked, dodging Arthur’s teasing.

“I slept like a baby,” Arthur responded, and Merlin only caught the minute hesitation because he was looking for it.

Arthur lowered himself onto a stool with a muted hiss, and Merlin detected a faint trembling in his hand as he reached for a piece of fruit. “How’s the leg?“ he asked casually.

Arthur looked as though he might be about to lie, give the expected answer that it was fine, but his voice softened and his eyes darted down to look at his breakfast as he answered seriously. “Painful. I can put weight on it, but only to a certain degree.”

“Will you be able to fight with it?” Merlin asked, managing to keep his voice from coming out strained and high by some feat he might have called magical, had he not known better.

“I can cope with the weakness. It is not my leading leg, which is to my advantage, although I will have to keep my speed up in case it does cause problems. But if the pain continues, my speed will suffer, as will my reflexes. I can only hope that it fades as it did yesterday, that by engaging in battle the pain will somehow be chased away when I need it to go.”

“Is that what you think happened yesterday?”

Arthur’s gaze, as it fell upon Merlin, felt oddly heavy, and he hesitated two seconds too long before replying. “I cannot think of any other explanation. I felt … that something was keeping me upright. Something beyond my control.”

Merlin fiddled with the stem of his apple, twirling it until it snapped off and then stabbing it at the skin, not quite meeting Arthur’s look. “When is the fight?” he asked eventually.

“Noon,” Arthur informed him, grabbing a piece of ham and chewing and swallowing it with impressive speed. “So I have the rest of the morning to strengthen my leg.”

“I should go and check your armour,” Merlin said, thinking of those potions in the back of his book.

“Again?” Arthur demanded through a mouthful of cheese, now.

“Merlin got up, and shrugged. “I wouldn’t want to let down your father,” he said daringly, and watched as Arthur’s mouth thinned.

“No. My father is not a man to be let down,” he ground out, before turning decisively back to his meal and moving one hand down to aggressively massage his thigh.

Merlin burst into his room with a moan, and was met by Gaius, changing the slightly bloodied, sweat-stained sheets on his bed. “Merlin,” he greeted him. “You look terrible.”

“How hard would it be for me to collect the tears of a unicorn in the next few hours?” Merlin demanded maniacally. Gaius blinked at him in confusion. “How far away do cockatrices live?”

“Did you manage to get any rest after last night, Merlin?” Gaius asked incredulously, as Merlin fumbled for the hidden book behind a pile of his ratty neckerchiefs, and flicked desperately to the back.

“I think I’m going to need to sacrifice three golden-haired maidens,” he said deliriously, and Gaius snatched the book away from him and seized his wrists.

“Quiet!” he hissed, dragging him over to the door and eyeing a seemingly oblivious Arthur before pushing the door all the way shut. “Panicking will do neither of you any good. The fight takes place in two hours. All you can do now is relax, and trust your magic.”

“I do,” Merlin insisted shakily. “I just - I really think Arthur needs to win this. I can see it in his eyes. But even at full health, this fight would be testing - that’s why he is so determined. Imagine how proud Uther will be. And how angry he will be if Arthur does not.”

“Arthur’s view of his father seems to have rubbed off on you,” Gaius mused, a little sadly. “But there is nothing you can do now save focus on Arthur, and let your powers do their job.”

“I hope it’s enough,” Merlin said flatly, eyeing the book, thrown on the bed, but Gaius was guarding it carefully. “For all our sakes.”

---

Merlin took his time over the final polish and check of Arthur’s armour, going over it once before carrying it to the red tent just outside the arena, and again once he had delivered it. The act, one that he had always found horribly long and boring before, seemed today to take too little time as he thought back over the times he was aware of his connection with Arthur and tried in vain to summon the magic once more.

“What’s wrong with your face?” Arthur asked when he arrived, and Merlin sprang up from where he had scrunched up his eyes and nose in concentration, his arms wide open in front of him as he attempted to make his hands glow.

“Nothing, just stretching,” Merlin said, feeling his teeth start to chatter as true nervousness set in, now that the fight was imminent. As Arthur limped over to stand before him, stretching out his arms, he swallowed excess saliva. “Nervous?” he forced himself to ask, slipping into their usual routine.

“No,” Arthur replied, but instead of his usual arrogance, his tone was subdued

Merlin pretended not to notice, and pulled Arthur’s mail over his head. It settled on Arthur’s shoulders with a jangle, and Arthur let out a small huff of air as his leg nearly buckled beneath him.

“I’ve prepared some extra mail for your leg for protection,” he suggested, but Arthur shook his head.

“It’ll slow me down even more, and my leg can’t take the weight.” Arthur’s tone was flat, and Merlin noted the utter lack of expression in his face, all emotions carefully schooled away so as not to give away his pain. The numb features made Merlin feel sick: Arthur’s face was usually the most expressive part of him, all twitchy eyebrows and scornful lips and wide eyed taunting.

“Winning this is very important to you, isn’t it?” Merlin asked quietly as he tackled Arthur’s shoulder plates.

“It is more a matter of losing not being an option,” Arthur replied, oddly honest.

“In order to impress your father?” Merlin hedged, ready to flinch if Arthur’s temper suddenly snapped.

“In order to impress upon the court that I am a leader,” Arthur said, sounding as though the words he spoke were well-learned. His voice softened a little. “Which will gain my father’s approval, yes.”

Merlin gasped a little, feeling a sudden hum in his veins. “Do you do everything to please your father?”

It was Arthur’s turn to startle, and Merlin thought perhaps he had pushed too far, but that thrum of power was starting to grow, despite his not quite knowing why. “Not always, anymore,” Arthur breathed, and Merlin finished tying off a strap and tucking away the cord to meet the prince’s startlingly open eyes.

The magic was dancing just out of reach now, and Merlin was beginning to understand, he thought, what would bring it within reach. His magic had helped Arthur at the times he needed it most, yes - when certain he was to die; when in desperate pain but determined to win, and when caught in a terrifying nightmare. All moments of shocking vulnerability. Merlin needed only to push Arthur into the most emotionally open position he could, and the magic would work, he was sure of it.

He was standing so close to Merlin now that they were nearly breathing the same air, but the contact was lost as the bell rang to signal that Arthur should take his position in the arena.

“Time,” Arthur murmured, gritting his jaw, and he made to leave the tent, but Merlin, doing his best not to think too hard about his actions and the possible consequences other than relief of Arthur’s pain, lunged forward and pressed his lips to the surprised prince’s.

He had expected Arthur to pull away immediately, hoping for just one moment of complete shock that would enable him to unleash his magic and take the pain. What he hadn’t expected was that Arthur would pause, just for a moment, before kissing him back, his lips soft and warm against his own.

His magic soared, throbbing in his ears, and he felt the pain flood back into his thigh. He would have fallen, had Arthur’s hands not gripped him hard by the shoulders, and his cry of discomfort was cut off and lost in a moan of pleasure as Arthur pushed his tongue into Merlin’s mouth, exploring and teasing hotly.

They only pulled apart when the bell rang again, more insistently this time, and Arthur panted at him, his eyes shining brightly.

“Good luck,” Merlin managed to gasp, attempting a light grin that he knew didn’t come out quite right.

“I won’t need it,” Arthur said, putting his weight fully onto the injured leg, and then with a strange bob of his head, he set off.

Merlin followed with much less speed, the nagging ache settling into his thigh, and he was thankful that he was wearing his darkest trousers to hide the pearlescent glow his thigh was emitting.

Gaius, waiting by the arena, pushed him into a stool when he reached his side, looking at Merlin with both fear and something that looked suspiciously like pride. “It worked?”

“It worked,” Merlin confirmed. “I caught him at a vulnerable moment. Now he just needs to win.”

He looked out over the arena where the two warriors faced one another, helmets pulled down over their faces and swords and shields raised high.

He had expected to be terrified during this fight, watching through his fingers as Avery, standing a foot taller and possibly another two feet wider than Arthur, struck at him with frighteningly strong blows. Instead, he felt strangely confident, his heart singing in his chest - and he realised, as Arthur grinned through the gap in his visor and leapt for Avery as soon as the fight was called to start, that his feelings were not all his own.

His heart rate increases as Avery, initially surprised by Arthur’s furious first attack, parries and thrusts with obvious skill and experience, forcing Arthur to move nimbly on his feet to duck under his heavy longsword.

It was the shield that posed the problem. Merlin found himself thinking. It launched at him with all of Avery’s weight behind it, and even the slightest graze against his shoulder sent him spinning, knocked off-balance and unable to control the weight he placed on his injured leg.

But the fact that Avery placed so much strength behind his blows could be used to their - to Arthur’s advantage, Merlin realised, watching as Arthur ducked yet another blow and swung out with his sword, landing a strike to Avery’s side. Arthur was strong, but against Avery his blows were next to feather-light.

“The sword,” he hissed under his breath. “Next time take his sword!”

He had whispered purely out of his own frustration, but the magic pounding through his body jerked, and he saw Arthur whip his head around, slightly confused for a moment before he took a slam to the upper left arm, and Merlin felt his own limb go numb.

“Take his sword!” he hissed again, and this time when Arthur faced one of Avery’s dangerous strikes with his shield, one that would surely have knocked him out cold even with a glancing blow to the helmet, he left his dodge until he very last moment, and then spun as he dived under the thick wood, using his sword to aim at Avery’s fingers where they gripped the hilt of his own blade.

Avery let out a shriek, the first sound of pain or weakness he had uttered during the entire fight so far, and dropped the sword, pushing his hand tight against his body to press the pain of the injured digits away.

Arthur kicked out at the sword, sending it far to the side of the arena, and straightened in front of Avery with some effort. Merlin could see his eyes blinking dazedly, whether from the blows he had taken or the effects of his wound catching up with him, he wasn’t sure, but he could also feel that the fight was Arthur’s. He could see Arthur glance at Uther, leaning forward in his seat with a tense look on his face, and he pushed with his magic to forcibly wrench Arthur’s attention back to the way Avery held his shield, now his only weapon.

Avery’s arm was strapped to his shield, two thick bands holding it in place so that he could use it as a solid weapon just by punching, which was his preferred way of fighting. Arthur’s preferred style was to use his speed to dive and then slam into his opponent and knock them off-guard. His strength was useless in this fight, but his speed could still save him, as long as he timed his next move right.

“Twist the shield behind his back,” he muttered, barely aware of Gaius looking at him in puzzled concern, and he thought he saw Arthur nod very slightly before Avery charged.

Arthur made to duck left, but Avery, used to this trick now, went low. Arthur, however, had only been feinting, and he rolled to the right and used every ounce of strength he possessed to pull down on Avery’s shield arm, using the impulsion behind his blow to drive the shield under and around his back.

He then kicked out with his injured leg, causing Merlin to choke as the air was driven from his lungs by the sudden agony, and caught Avery at the sensitive part of his leg, right behind the knee. Avery dropped like a stone, and Arthur twisted and pushed his knee onto Avery’s chest, pinning him, and before the stronger man could push his way up again, he knocked away Avery’s helmet and held his sword to his throat.

The crowd’s yell thundered in Merlin’s ears, as he saw Avery nod his defeat and then allow Arthur to pull him to his feet - it took a little while, what with Avery’s injured fingers and Arthur’s lingering shakiness, but then they were up, standing, and Uther had entered on to the arena, carrying the gleaming gold trophy that was Arthur’s prize.

Merlin let himself lean back against the wall, feeling suddenly more exhausted than he could ever remember feeling as waves of elation and pride washed over him.

He blinked and rushed to his feet when Arthur approached, his leg looking shaky but solid, his cheeks flushed and a grin plastered over his face.

“Merlin. Take the rest of the day off,” he instructed.

“Your armour-” Merlin began, confused, but then Uther appeared at Arthur’s shoulder, reaching one hand up to ruffle at Arthur’s sweat-stiff hair.

“I’ll deal with his armour today. Gaius, I believe Lord Avery has some wounds requiring your attention.”

“My lord,” Gaius said respectfully, and turned to Merlin with a smile. “It worked,” he repeated from earlier, looking as proud as Uther had been.

“It did,” Merlin confirmed, grinning, and then forced his eyes wide open as they threatened to fall shut.

“Sleep, Merlin,” Gaius instructed. I can deal with a couple of sliced fingers without you collapsing on me. Go to bed.”

Bed, Merlin thought, sounded like a very good idea.

---

He woke to an incessant poke against his shoulder, all the pain gone from his leg, and yawned sleepily, batting the intruding hand away, until he heard Arthur say his name in that ridiculous tone he liked to use.

“Arthur!” he replied, scrabbling to sit up, and found Arthur sitting in the chair he had occupied the night before, his injured leg resting on the bed frame. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at the feast?”

The celebrations would go on probably until well into the next morning, he had thought, and he said as much as he took in the light shining through the windows.

“It’s the next afternoon, you idiot,” Arthur told him, rolling his eyes. “You slept for ages and missed all the fun of the feast.”

“Was it good?” Merlin asked.

“Er, yeah, I think so,” Arthur replied, clearing his throat. “Very memorable.”

Merlin raised his eyebrows at that. “Do you need me to do anything?” he asked.

“I always need you to do things, Merlin, but you rarely do what I ask anyway,” Arthur said, sounding very put-upon. Merlin noticed him fiddling with the hem of his blankets, and frowned.

“Are you all right? How’s your leg?”

“Awful,” Arthur sniffed. “It always is, on the second day after the injury. it’ll start getting better tomorrow.”

“And the king doesn’t know?” Merlin confirmed.

“No,” Arthur said, his voice dropping an octave. “I went to thank Gaius for that, a few moments ago. He said that the person I ought to thank is you.”

“Well, you know, I was just being a good servant,” Merlin stuttered modestly, and received a flick to the ear.

“You’re a rubbish servant, Merlin, quite the worst I’ve ever had,” Arthur informed him. “But you’re a very good friend.”

Merlin swallowed, feeling his cheeks heat, and realised how suddenly very close Arthur seemed, as close as he had been yesterday.

His head against his pillow, Merlin had nowhere to move, and he wasn’t sure that even if he had been able to move he would have as Arthur’s mouth descended on his.

There was no magic roaring through Merlin’s veins this time, no pounding in his ears or desperation flooding his lungs as he thought only of protecting the prince, but instead there was just Arthur, his kiss surprisingly gentle and his hand resting lightly at Merlin’s nape.

Arthur let out a little half-whimper as he pressed closer, his tongue flitting across Merlin’s lips until he opened them obediently. Arthur tasted of wine and something else he couldn’t quite place, something refreshing and cool even though his lips were warm and Merlin could feel his ears beginning to turn red with pleasure. He didn’t need his magic to sense what Arthur was feeling, and he groaned with the force of the trust and gratefulness that filled Arthur’s touch.

He felt as exhausted as he had yesterday when Arthur finally pulled back, his mouth kiss-swollen and cherry-red. “Thank you,” he said, flatteringly sounding as out-of-breath as Merlin himself felt.

He pulled back and straightened his jacket, clearing his throat. “I’ll expect you to resume your usual duties tomorrow,” he said after a moment, heading for the door, but his tone was far from dismissive and his eyes were sincere as he nodded to him.

“Was it worth it?” Merlin asked impulsively, just before he exited. Arthur tilted his head questioningly. “For your father. Was it worth lying to him and bearing the injury?”

Arthur’s face showed a myriad of emotions, from hurt to hope in a mere second, and the smile he offered Merlin as both rueful and full of promise. “I’ll let you know.”

End.

33 Multifandom Icons - Merlin & Sharpe

2008-12-31T21:15:54Z

It's been ages since I posted icons, mostly because I am really fucking lazy and then, because of my laziness, I kind of forgot how! Eek! But, anyway, a few random ones from 1x09 and also a bonus few of Sharpe - which is a grainy, hard-to-cap show that doesn't really lend itself well to colouring. All those greens, too. But, pretty.

Examples


1	2	3	4

01-18 Merlin - 1x09 Excalibur
19-33 Sharpe - Rifles, Company, Promos

Feel free to customise, use as bases, whatever you desire. Commenting and crediting is appreciated but not required. :-)


1	2	3	4

5	6	7	8

9	10	11	12

13	14	15	16

17	18	19	20

21	22	23	24

25	26	27	28

29	30	31	32

33

Also, I was wondering if there are any people on my talented f-list who speak Spanish and would be willing to check over a few phrases for me for a fic I'm doing? I haven't actually written the Spanish bits yet, and it's literally going to be a line or two here and there, but I'm hoping to have them done sometime in January and haven't really got a clue!

I finally got round to watching the X-Files movie, the new one (well, I bought it for a friend who got two copies, then remembered I hadn't seen it so kept it) and was surprised by how much I enjoyed it. I mean, I loved the series, and though it was kind of odd, in its pacing and the quiet vibe to it all, not very like the series in many ways, I really, really loved it. It just seemed to work. I mean, I'm a sucker for slow, creepy crime thrillers filmed in snowy, abandoned landscapes anyway, and then there was the bonus of it being X-Files. Plus, David Duchovny! My slightly weird crush on Mitch Pileggi! CALLUM KEITH RENNIE! And Billy Connolly was pretty fucking good too, and I always love Amanda Peet. And Gillian Anderson has always been a fantastic actress, but she was really just knocking it way out of the ballpark. Okay, I totally fucking loved it. Plus the soundtrack was to die for.

Happy New Year, everyone!

All In The Eyes (Merlin)

2008-12-28T11:24:43Z

Title: All In The Eyes
Author: julesoh
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Merlin
Pairing: Arthur/Merlin
Word Count: 699
Summary: “I won’t leave,” Merlin insists, but Arthur’s hand presses tightly on his wrist.
Notes: Written for the fifth (I skipped the fourth) challenge at merlin_las which was to write 700 words of an AU - and I chose the prompt involving someone not dying or dying at a different time than is canon. Also, I won! :-) Thank you! </bragging> And also, apologies for my Arthur's useless attempts at Old English.

Merlin wakes in the dark with a strangled cry, his hands gripping the sheets hard enough to tear. He rolls to his side and searches blindly until his fingers encounter skin, and shuffles close, burying his face in a warm neck with a shaky inhale.

Arthur shifts automatically to accommodate him, intertwining their legs and throwing one arm over Merlin’s waist. He seeks out his breastbone with the other, sliding his hand so it rests over Merlin’s racing heart.

“Dreams again?” he asks sleepily into Merlin’s hair.

“The same,” Merlin confirms. “A Camelot where magic is outlawed, where you do not smile so freely, where danger lurks everywhere.” Where Igraine died when you were a baby, he does not add.

Arthur presses his lips to Merlin’s cheekbone, his sharp teeth grazing Merlin’s skin as he smiles. “This is not that Camelot,” he reassures him, pulling him closer. “Licg, mîn lufiend.”

The words do not flow easily from Arthur’s tongue, but Merlin understands the sentiment and relaxes into the embrace, his heart finally beginning to slow.

---

Camelot is a perfect city, with high, strong walls and people who are well-fed and kept safe by King Uther, his golden queen, and their honey-blond son.

Merlin’s mother had told him before he left of the beauty and kindness of Queen Igraine, but no descriptions could have prepared him for meeting her in person. He adores her immediately, and pushes her out of the way of a spooked horse galloping straight for them in Camelot’s sunny streets. His reward is a position as Prince Arthur’s manservant.

Arthur’s smile is as easy as his mother’s, and his strength as impressive as his father’s, and he holds Merlin every night when the nightmares come. Merlin cannot explain them - he does not have the seer’s gift, like Morgana and Nimueh, but the dreams haunt his slumber without fail and leave him edgy and shivery when he casts his spells.

---

Igraine falls ill on a summer’s day, blanching and swooning into Uther’s arms, The king carries her to their rooms, Gaius following, and the rest of them hover by the doorway worriedly.

Gwen holds Morgana’s hand, and murmurs reassurances that it is probably just the heat, nothing more serious. Nimueh watches impassively, a little way further down the corridor, her stare trained on Arthur as he fidgets and stares at the flagstones. Merlin’s stomach coils sickly as it always does under her gaze, and presses himself closer to his prince.

Gaius shakes his head mournfully when the door reopens, and Uther’s face is white as he takes Nimueh’s arm in a vice-like grip and drags his adviser down the corridor.

That night, it is Arthur’s turn to be held, Merlin’s arms stroking over the shivering back, the echoes of Uther and Nimueh’s screaming argument still ringing through the castle. Arthur does not sleep, his eyes lamp-like in the moon’s glow: not grey like Uther’s, not green like Igraine’s, but a dead match for Nimueh’s shocking blue.

---

Camelot transforms quickly, Merlin thinks, as he gazes up at the castle from his hiding place at the edge of the trees - those strong walls dark and menacing against a swirling grey sky that has been the first victim of Uther’s distraught rage - no dragons flying there now.

Arthur appears, face and hair ghostly as he presses a package into Merlin’s hands. “Provisions enough for four days,” he whispers.

“I won’t leave,” Merlin insists, but Arthur’s hand presses tightly on his wrist.

“He'll take your lives for hers - and I will not see you dead, Merlin.”

He is the last to leave; Gaius took a horse last night, and Morgana and Nimueh had fled early this morning, leaving the east wing of the castle burning.

“I’ll come for you. When Camelot is our own once more,” Arthur promises desperately. “I will make it safe.”

Merlin’s heart constricts, and he tugs Arthur close, kisses him hard enough that he knows it will bruise. Arthur pushes back, their teeth clashing as their tongues jostle, fighting for a last taste. “I will be waiting,” Merlin says fiercely when they finally part.

Arthur’s smile is the exact one he wears in Merlin’s dreams, as he pauses in his retreat to offer one last warning: “Keep the magic secret.”

End.

Take Me Home (Merlin)

2008-12-15T00:09:21Z

Title: Take Me Home
Author: julesoh
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Merlin
Pairing: Arthur/Merlin
Word Count: 950
Summary: “But you could do it, couldn’t you?” Arthur insists. “You’ve conquered life and death - surely a little thunderstorm won’t pose much of a problem.”
Notes: I don't really know what to say about this - I just really wanted some kind of Arthur/Merlin touching in the episode, so this spluttered out of my head. Oh, also, spoilers for 1x13!

Gaius falls asleep against Merlin’s shoulder; the rain still beating down all around, the stone hard against his back.

But Gaius is warm in his arms, his forehead where it rests against Merlin’s neck is wet but not cool, and another laugh pushes its way between Merlin’s lips, barely audible against the roar of thunder.

A flash of lightning blinds him momentarily when he looks up at the sky, and when he can see again, Arthur is standing over him, rain trickling down his cheeks as he gazes down at them impassively.

“We should take him inside,” he says, nodding at Gaius, and bending to take one of his arms.

Merlin scrambles to his feet to help lift at Gaius’ other armpit, not taking his eyes off the soaking prince. “How - what - how long?” he fumbles.

Arthur’s tone is flat, giving nothing away as he leads them towards an alcove. “To come after you: maybe half an hour. Standing here, watching you: long enough.”

They pass under an arch and the crashing rain becomes muted against the old stones as they lie Gaius down.

“Long enough to see me kill Nimueh,” Merlin confirms, straightening Gaius’ arms.

Arthur unhooks a small pack, hooked on his belt, and pulls out a light blanket. Merlin lifts Gaius’ head automatically so that he can slide the blanket under the damp grey hair as a substitute for a pillow.

“He shouldn’t stay wet,” Arthur says, rising to his feet, and when he looks at Merlin there’s finally something showing on his face: expectance and anticipation and a little fear, too. “You can dry him, can’t you?”

Merlin nods. That morning, he wouldn’t have been able to, he thinks, would have had no idea what words were the right ones to say, but he doesn’t need to learn the right words anymore. All he needs to do is raise his hand and think, for a microsecond, and the magic flows through his body and he speaks without knowing it, the syllables flickering over his tongue.

Gaius shifts contentedly in his sleep, bone dry, and Merlin turns to Arthur. The prince’s skin is slick with rainwater, like his own, and he waves his hand. “I could do the same for you,” he offers with an uncertain shrug.

Arthur shakes his head and backs out of the alcove, raising his head to the dark clouds. “Why don’t you just stop the rain?” he calls, the words barely reaching Merlin’s ears and forcing him to follow Arthur back out into the wet.

“It’ll stop in its own time,” he tells Arthur. “Once it’s washed what’s left of her away from this place.”

“But you could do it, couldn’t you?” Arthur insists. “You’ve conquered life and death - surely a little thunderstorm won’t pose much of a problem.” There’s a challenge in his tone, anger too, but it isn’t very strong.

“Yes,” Merlin says. “I could do it.” He walks forward a couple of paces, and points at Arthur’s left arm, out of its sling but stiff against his side. “I could heal that fully for you, too.”

“Don’t,” Arthur says quickly, angling his injured shoulder away. Merlin shies back a little, but realises that where he expected recrimination in Arthur’s eyes, there is only regret, and it doesn’t seem to be aimed at him. “It’s enough just knowing you can.”

Merlin remains silent, lifting a hand to brush at the water sticking to his eyelashes.

“I should have known earlier,” Arthur continues. “I think, sometimes, that I did.”

“I thought perhaps you knew, after Will,” Merlin says, lifting a wet shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“What are you apologising for?” Arthur demands sharply, catching Merlin by surprise. He gapes for a moment, unsure. For Uther’s stupid laws that make Arthur the son of a paranoid tyrant, he thinks briefly.

“For keeping it a secret,” he says.

Arthur moves so quickly that Merlin doesn’t have time to react, he just feels Arthur’s good hand catch him by the neck and push him up against one of the tall stones, his feet slipping in the sticky ground. Arthur’s fingers are tight against his throat, blunt calluses rubbing at his skin.

“You lied to me,” Arthur hisses dangerously, letting Merlin see the hurt and fury flash in his eyes. He twists his hand, pulling at Merlin’s neck scarf, and Merlin feels his head bounce against the stone painfully. He blinks, and when his eyes open again Arthur’s expression has softened, regret and apologies and gratitude and tenderness replacing his anger. “You saved me,” he breathes, fingers loosening on Merlin’s neck and reaching to curl gently around his nape.

The stiff, warm fingers of Arthur’s other hand settle at Merlin’s waist, and he leans in closer, raking his eyes over Merlin’s face, his warm breath mingling with Merlin’s.

Tentatively, Merlin lifts his own arms, looping them as far around Arthur’s broad torso as they’ll go, landing but not quite meeting just below Arthur’s shoulder blades. “I’d do it again,” he murmurs, letting his forehead tilt forward so that it bumps against Arthur’s, then turning slightly to feel the faint throbbing of Arthur’s pulse in his temple.

He sinks into Arthur’s kiss when it comes, feeling hot tears sting at his eyes at the feel of their lips meeting, Arthur’s teeth sharp against his tongue and so very alive.

He’s shaking when Arthur pulls back, and he meets his eyes briefly before letting his head fall forward, chin fitting over Arthur’s shoulder neatly. Arthur’s eyelashes scrape over the hard cartilage at the tip of his ear. “My secret,” Arthur says.

Merlin coughs, sobs, laughs into Arthur’s sodden hair. “I think I already knew.”

End.

These biscuits aren't that nice

2008-12-13T22:25:21Z

I FEEL REALLY GUILTY, OKAY, BECAUSE NOT LOVING MERLIN AS MUCH AS USUAL FEELS LIKE KICKING A PUPPY WHILE LISTENING TO NAILS DRAGGING ALONG A BLACKBOARD. BUT. IT WASN'T AS AWESOME AS I'D HOPED. D:

There is more positive stuff under the cut, I promise, I did love it and I love my show and I love the characters and I'm happy. I just - I could be happier.

Because there were positives, okay, Arthur's lovely, hairy chest being one of them. I am so pleased, shepsangel, so, so pleased. I just want to cuddle him. And lick him. And bury my hands in that chest hair. *swoon*

And I cannot say enough how amazing Colin Morgan was, seriously. Every moment he was on screen, he totally acted his little socks off. He makes the cheesiest, most unwieldy lines sound natural and gives them a whole number of layers. He also rode a horse loads, which I loved, and he mounted and dismounted and I flailed ridiculously. Analogue has been turned off where I live so the episode was very fuzzy, my dad hijacked the satellite, but I'll check out his heel position later. Also, he looks gorgeous wet, and he really took my breath away in the scene where his boat approaches the Isle of the Blessed.

Uther carrying Arthur was gorgeous, seriously. One of my favourite things about Uther is how much he adores Arthur, and he was actually fairly fantastic in this, I though - he dismissed Gaius' portent of doom but I didn't really see what else he was supposed to do about it. And he was concerned about his son and stroked his cheek and was essentially, a good father.

Gwen soothing Morgana - one of the best character moments in the episode. Just sums up the trust and love they have.

Shirtless Arthur and Nimueh's leg baring - she looked hot. No wonder she looks ridiculously smug, all the time.

BUT.

The negative. IDK. It's like, for the past twelve weeks, whenever I sat down in front of my TV to watch Merlin, it was with a sense of trepidation, like, it's a BBC Saturday night children;s fantasy show. At some point, they are going to fuck up completely and make it awful. But it never did that, every week it exceeded my expectations, and then this week, it suddenly missed them entirely, after spending so long building them up.

I expected their usual simple plotting that left time for short, sweet, but revealing character moments. This felt rushed, and then lazy, all at once. There was a cute Arthur/Merlin spear thing at the beginning, but why waste time having them see the monster, go back and tell everyone they've seen the monster, then see the monster again? Why not have a short expositional scene where they're heading out to kill a monster that's been terrorising them, and have the whole bit about it being an omen then, and play the credits after Arthur has been struck? IDK, that's probably not the best solution, but there has to be a less awkward way of starting the story and getting it moving quicker and more effectively.

And then, the actual injury to Arthur itself. There is no excuse for the shit CGI blending, okay? It was rubbish, worse than awful. I think I would have found unedited ping pong balls more bearable to watch. WTF was Arthur flailing his sword at? They build him up as this awesome warrior, and he's shown that in hand-to-hand combat, but this? He swiped a bit then collapsed. NO. What I would have liked to see would be a better battle, but also the other knights suffering too, and Arthur possibly leaping in front of Merlin to slice at the creatures paw - it had paws, right? He was given fuck all else to do in the episode save moan and writhe sexily. I don't disagree with that aspect, obviously, but still. They didn't really do Arthur justice in this episode. When he woke up, he was acting as prattishly as he did in episode one, which doesn't exactly make you think, wow, I'm so glad Merlin saved him.

Oh, wait, sorry, something that should definitely have been on the POSITIVE list: Merlin's desperation to save Arthur. I mean, it's canon he loves him now, I think. We already know his dying is unthinkable, and this just reiterates it.

But, continuing from Arthur being useless this episode, why do that? Why make a character you've spent ages developing act like an idiot again? This might sound like sour grapes; Arthur is my favourite character, and I'm just bitter he wasn't used more, etc. But I don't think it is that, because I loved it when Arthur was an arrogant dick when he shot the unicorn. I like seeing him being selfish and cocky and a spoiled brat prince, because that's what he is. What he is not, anymore, is someone who doesn't listen to Merlin, and who jokes with Gwen.

I love Arthur/Gwen, I really do, but what I love about them is their quiet mutual respect and affection. I did enjoy Gwen's speech to Arthur, but the scene where he asks her to repeat what she said didn't ring true to me, and overall I think two quieter, subtler moments would have been more beneficial. Just a shared smile, or a nod, or a couple of sincere lines, would have had five times the effect, whether seeing them as friends or future lovers, whatever.

And it would have given them more time. The overwhelming thought I had about this episode was that it was just so rushed. It felt like they'd written and filmed it on the spot, without really planning it out first. __justaday very sensibly suggested to me that maybe it felt rushed because it was rushed, that they wrote it haphazardly and quickly, possibly while waiting to hear if the second series had been picked up. Which is fair enough, I suppose. But. It's also not. I just - guys, so many of you out there could have written and staged it better, you know? I'm so excited to see your fanfic, but I would love to have seen what you geniuses would have come up with, plotwise. It didn't live up to the potential of the trailer.

There was a lot of useless chatting, for one thing, and then loss of little things that were a bit stupid: Merlin's first deal with Nimueh, where I swear, babies who haven't even been born yet were standing up in their wombs going, "Merlin, you retard, didn't you listen? She just told you that your life wasn't the one you were bargaining with!" That's what I mean about giving Colin Morgan better material. He makes Merlin adorable and smart and funny and useful. The script, however, does not in this case.

There were scenes that didn't ring true, either, like when they brought Arthur to Gaius and he kind of flutters around him and asks if he can hear him, doesn't even examine the wound? What? I know he knows that the creature's bite will kill him, but basic first aid should be pretty fucking natural to him by now. He barely even tries to cop a feel, and that's odd too. ;-)

I really hate doing this, honestly. I still love my show. And I'm not angry about this ending, or anything, I'm just disappointed. What a ridiculous parent I sound like. But - it just could have been done better. Arthur didn't actually die, which took away from the power of the episode, and although having Hunith turn up sick was an interesting twist, everything seemed very easy at the end, with Nimueh's death - I hope she's not dead, not really, or at least comes back to visit Morgana. Morgana got a bit of a cliffhanger, at least, whatever the fuck was going on with her. And did Hunith recover? We didn't see that - although I have a feeling she did. Why was Gaius suddenly alive again? He delivered that annoying, throwaway line about Merlin suddenly conquering the magic of life and death, which, NO. It's not that simple, and it's not okay. The balance having to be restored should be something that can never be in Merlin's power. That's too much power. I may have been watching too many LOTR extras recently (Sean Bean is fit) but: Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. So no, okay, just no. Also, WTF? How did he learn that? In that spell book, in the index, is it like, MAKE BOOTS WALK CUTELY.....PAGE 61, CONJURE SPARKLY DRAGONS IN THE AIR.....PAGE 13, CONQUER THE FORCES OF LIFE AND DEATH AND ESSENTIALLY BECOME GOD....PAGE 86?

I'm genuinely, genuinely shocked at how ranty this has become, and how incoherent and odd. Sorry, LOL. I think I'm apologising to the show, too. IDK. I need a hug. And I meant it - I'm not out of love or anything, I'm just as in love with them all as I ever was. I'm just confused and a little bit sad and overwhelmingly convinced that many of you could have done better, and will do better in fic. Have done better, already, in the case of this gorgeous fic by the lovely thisissirius.

But, I'm excited! We have a series two, and I'm sure it's going to be awesome, and I know there's going to be a ton of genius stuff in the interim - we are a creative bunch, guys! And there's loads of us! :-D

As usual, longer and whinier and more ridiculous than I expected it to be, and I'm oddly conflicted. But, I have Rifleman Harris diaries to cheer me up, and there is nothing more delightful than watching Sean Bean in his Sharpe uniform, smoking a fag and listening to football results and reading Esquire. And spilling coffee over himself. El Beano, I love you.

Rec and Rambling

2008-12-12T18:14:36Z

Definitely the best Arthur/Gwen fic I've read so far: Sometimes I Forget I'm Still Awake by paperclipbitch. It's so rich and well-written, just the way I like fic to be, all thoughtful dialogue and gradual build-up of respect. Gwen is spot-on, in particular, everything she should and could be.

I'm shockingly on top of my to-do list at the moment, but behind on making useless observations about Merlin, so:

Excalibur

There are things I love about this episode, like Merlin's face whenever he holds Excalibur. He just seems so in awe of it, so pleased that he's made it for Arthur, proud of his magic and simply appreciating it. It's quite hard to have to watch him throw it into the lake. I also love paedo!Gaius drugging Arthur, the sight of Arthur rolling his eyes drunkenly (I was expecting a Jayne moment like in Firefly, I forget which episode but you'll know if you watch) and Arthur sprawled on his bed. But I loved him throwing himself at the door even more - frantic, aggressive Arthur is totally one of my kinks (as long as it's against an enemy, which in this case, the door was.)

I love Uther anyway, he's one of my favourite characters in the whole show because he's just so delicious fucked-up, and fucks everyone else around him up too. He's kind of dangerously unpredictable in his predictability, if that makes any sense whatsoever. I loved finally getting some Igraine backstory, and the Uther/Gaius interactions, and although I was a little unsure about Uther's sudden, random moment of affection with Arthur - it just came a little out of the blue, IMO, although I'm starting to develop a mini theory that Uther isn't just ridiculously paranoid, but may actually be slightly mad. He's very clever, but he's just vaguely deranged, too - I couldn't resist the adorable teasing father/son moment. Arthur dodging a kick and running off - oh don't, Show, the childhood he never really had! This series is killing me! Plus the way he kind of ducks embarrassedly under Uther's hand on his shoulder sums up his character for me. Also, shallow: shirtless Uther! Yay!

Gwen is the nicest person in the world. She's just so sweet, helping Merlin out like that. All she ever does is give.

What I thought fell flat: Morgana's weird, not-overly-bothered flatness when she visited Arthur before the fight. She is probably the one person he would have backed out of the fight for, yet she didn't even try to manipulate him. She just seemed to be checking that the fight was tomorrow, like she'd lost her diary or something. I didn't really get it.

Not my favourite episode ever - although, I'd be hard pressed to make a shortlist - but some really gorgeous moments, probably many of which I've just ignored.

The Labyrinth of Gedref

There isn't much to say about this other than UNICORNS! SLASH! It was total fanservice, and included leaping!Arthur. I didn't dislike anything, and it was just lovely to watch. Also, Arthur's bum. Evan really had the face of a serial killer, though, I totally would have had him hung.

To Kill The King

I both loved and was a bit confused by this episode. I was really pleased that it was good, despite the lack of Arthur/Merlin interaction, but I feel that their relationship is so strong now that we don't need to see it overtly all the time. What I found a bit off-putting was Morgana. I love Morgana to bits, okay, she's gorgeous and strong and utterly conflicted and interesting, but I kind of thought that she was to blame for Gwen's father's death, you know? I mean, yes, Uther probably would have found Tom guilty anyway, and hanged him, but it was all a bit pre-emptive and I just - I don't know. I need to re-watch it again, but it's kind of upsetting having that feeling that Morgana's fairly useless attempt to help Tom escape in a way contributed to his death. IDK, IDK, IDK. This is what I meant by my being confused. I did, however, lvoe the intensity between her and Gwen in that scene, and Gwen in particular was amazing this episode. I like that they kept her strong, but also allowed her to cry.

And probably my favourite scene was the Arthur/Gwen moment. Since 1x10, I've kind of adored the pairing. I love Arthur/Merlin, I really do, but what I love about this fandom is that there's so many different ways to read the show. I've read reviews where people interpret this scene in an Arthur/Merlin vein, where his look to Merlin beforehand is very partnerish and trusting. I totally, totally buy that. I could read it as simple respect between Arthur and Gwen, nothing more than Arthur demonstrating once more how much Merlin has helped him develop into a better peron. But there's somethign so appealing about Arthur/Gwen, too. The way he calls her Guinevere, that's undeniably special, and just the gentle tone of voice he uses with her and the overwhelming respect they seem to be developing between one another. I can quite happily follow my Arthur/Merlin heart and go with the beard marriage solution, or I can just as equally read it as a precursor to them falling in love. No matter what, I do think it's one of the the most well-written relationships on the show, and I'm looking forward to seeing where they go with it.

One of the reasons I love the above fic is because it shows Gwen dealing with her grief at losing her father, a grief that ultimately Arthur will one day suffer as well - and isn't that full of potential, too? And also the way in which they are both so good at hiding their feelings. paperclipbitch writes Arthur as feeling comfortable enough with Gwen to reveal some of those feelings he keeps locked away, his growing discomfort with his father's laws and the regret he feels for having to do his duty - I'm not even doing it justice, by the way, how well it's written and explores this, but the way they play off one another is gorgeous.

I'm also quite taken with an idea that they grow to trust one another more because both Gwen and Arthur seem to me to be fairly restrained characters - I've already played around with the idea that Gwen puts a happy face on a lot of the time even when she isn't, and I think it's fairly canon that Arthur doesn't exactly wear his heart on his sleeve. I enjoy the idea that because of this, they feel very comfortable with one another and can express their feelings to one another, but I'm equally intrigued by the possibility that maybe they're comfortable with one another not to have to. I don't know if I'm explaining this all that well, but I mean, they don't have to express their feelings. Maybe they're just happy being together because there's no pressure to talk. And that could make for awesome, silent porn. IDK!

Mostly, I'm just a bit fidgety and entirely too hyperactive at the moment, and I'm blethering on because I need to do something with my fingers.

So, just a couple of things about the extras:

1) AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
2) My love for how awesomely patient and dryly hilarious Angel Coulby is has partly inspired my newfound adoration of Gwen, I think. I just want to be Angel's best friend. You know she'd be awesome, and totally call your bullshit.
3) I have a total crush on the weirdly hot director, James, I think his name is? The one who has dark hair and a nice nose and seems to have endless amounts of patience.

Also, that turned into much more of a ramble than I expected, and I'm useless at meta, so coherence and insight: not here.

Ambush (Merlin)

2008-12-10T16:54:52Z

WE HAVE A SECOND SERIES CONFIRMED! YAY! ASH, ILU.

Title: Ambush
Author: julesoh
Rating: G
Fandom: Merlin
Pairing: Arthur/Merlin (pre-slash)
Word Count: 2145
Summary: “I’m a soldier, Merlin. I’ve been training to defend myself all my life. You’re my servant, not my bodyguard, it isn’t your job to protect me.”
Notes: Written for Day 10 at merlinadvent, for the prompt: Cold.

Ambush

“Keep still,” Arthur scolded as Merlin involuntarily flinched away from his touch again.

“Sorry,” Merlin managed through chattering teeth. “I can’t help it. It’s so cold.”

“That’s because it’s winter,” Arthur replied, then pushed Merlin back against the tree bark and resumed poking at the wound to his shoulder.

Merlin gasped in pain as he hit a particularly sensitive spot, but though he felt himself stiffen, he forced himself to remain still.

“Done,” Arthur announced after a few more minutes of agonising prodding. “It’s clean enough, and I’ll fetch some comfrey in a moment to help with the pain. I saw some growing near the stream.”

“You actually know what you’re doing,” Merlin noted, mild surprise in his voice.

Arthur rolled his eyes at him as he shrugged off his long brown coat. “I wouldn’t be much of a soldier if I couldn’t treat battlefield wounds, would I?”

“We’re not on a battlefield,” Merlin pointed out, scanning their surroundings quickly - but all he could see were trees and a gentle brook. It was nightfall, but there was still light enough from the dimming sun and the bright moon that the thick forest did not look too uninviting.

Arthur’s face darkened. “Our attackers treated it as such,” he growled.

“Who were they?” Merlin asked, blinking away the gathering fuzziness in his head. “Some of Kanen’s men?”

“No. We’re too far from Ealdor for that. They were most likely dissidents; people who oppose my father’s rule, and would see me dead or kidnapped for ransom.” He flashed a sudden grin at Merlin. “But they don’t count on my being such a good fighter.”

“Modest to the last,” Merlin commented, not unkindly, and noted vaguely that his words had started to slur together oddly.

Arthur had noticed too, apparently, and he knelt down to tuck his coat around Merlin with deceptive gentleness, careful not to jar his shoulder. “I’m going to check on the horses and fetch that comfrey. Keep that arm across your chest, and don’t fall asleep until I tell you it’s all right to do so.” He tapped Merlin’s chin. “Understand?”

“I would never disobey one of your orders,” Merlin mumbled, trying a smile but losing it in a particularly violent shiver.

“Merlin,” Arthur said, his warm breath tickling Merlin’s jaw. “You always disobey my orders. That’s why I’m asking you: please, stay awake.”

He squeezed Merlin’s shoulder, hard enough that Merlin knew he would have faint bruises tomorrow, but he focused on the pain as Arthur headed for the stream, his steps near soundless against the hard ground.

He could see Arthur in the distance as he waded into the water and re-tethered the horses, and he forced himself to watch, even as his eyelids grew as heavy as sacks of flour, and his head began to loll forward against his chest without his permission.

He bit down hard on the inside of his cheek, the pain shocking him into alertness, but it felt like an age before Arthur returned.

“You’re bleeding,” the prince said, kneeling next to him and brushing the red away from his chin with a gloved thumb.

“It doesn’t hurt,” Merlin said, truthfully now, for his whole body had started to succumb to numbness. “How are the horses?”

“Bloody pains in the neck,” Arthur informed him, lifting the makeshift bandage over Merlin’s shoulder and pressing something scratchy and cool against the wound. Merlin prepared himself for pain, but surprisingly, the dull ache eased somewhat, and he relaxed against Arthur’s touch.

“It’s not Hugo’s fault,” he chastised Arthur mildly.

“He’s a clumsy oaf,” Arthur snapped, and as if in retort, a soft neigh floated through the air, and Merlin smiled. Arthur looked at him and rolled his eyes, conveying his general disdain for Merlin’s sentimentality, although Merlin knew full well that Arthur only ever treated his horses with the utmost respect and kindness. “The water is icy, so the swelling will go down by morning and he will be fit to travel,” he said, some of the grumpiness leaving his voice, only to be replaced by matter-of-fact recrimination. “You’re right. It’s my fault. I should have made you bring a different horse. Hugo is one of the safest beasts in the stable, but he was not built for fleeing an enemy.”

He pulled off his gloves with his teeth in order to re-tie the bandage. Merlin watched as he worked, his eyes focused only on the task at hand, his jaw tense and stiff. “You couldn’t have predicted what happened,” he murmured.

They had already been travelling for the better part of the day, bickering over this and that and complaining about the cold, when Arthur had shifted uneasily in his saddle and moved Cerus closer to Hugo so that Arthur’s leg brushed against Merlin’s. “When I say the word, gallop hard, and do not stop until you see the walls of the city.”

Merlin had shortened his reins, swallowing hard as Arthur’s hand closed over the hilt of his sword. “What is it?”

“We’re being tracked. Three to our left, two to our right.”

Merlin eyed the trees to his right warily, and squinted, catching sight of movement. “I’ll stay. And help.”

“You haven’t yet fought an enemy from horseback,” Arthur had said, his tone brooking no arguments. Cerus had broken into a jog under him, clearly sensing that something was about to happen.

The two men on Merlin’s right broke out of the trees first with matching yells, brandishing daggers, and Arthur drew his sword and yelled to Merlin, “Now!”

Merlin tightened his fingers around the leather, meaning to keep Hugo steady and stay with Arthur, but Arthur had anticipated his actions and brought the flat of his sword down on Hugo’s rump, forcing the big, heavy horse into a gallop.

Merlin could hear the clash of metal behind him, but Hugo’s jump forward had unseated him somewhat and he couldn’t look back until he had righted himself. He sat deep in the saddle and pulled at Hugo, urging him to halt, when one of Hugo’s big hooves caught in a tree root and he stumbled, tripping onto his knees.

Merlin couldn’t have prevented it; he tumbled over Hugo’s shoulder and turned head over heel before coming to rest on his back, the sky blinking down at him as he tried painfully to regulate his breathing, the wind having been knocked out of him.

When he had finally regained enough air in his lungs to push himself into a sitting position, he barely had enough time to draw his own sword to knock away the dagger that one of their attackers was aiming at his chest, apparently having caught up with him.

He scrambled to his feet, holding his sword high in the defensive position Arthur had taught him. He could see Hugo standing, trembling with one forefoot raised off the ground, breath huffing out in visible clouds, and he breathed a sigh of relief that he was standing, at least, before his attacker rushed at him again, all rotten yellow teeth and wiry black hair, snarling and slashing haphazardly at Merlin.

He had been able to dodge aside easily enough, letting the weight behind he man’s frenzied attack carry him past so that he had to turn angrily in order to face Merlin and charge again. He waited nervously for the attack, knowing that if he followed Arthur’s training, he could feint to the left and plunge his sword into the man’s chest, a killing blow. But Merlin had never killed in that way before; had never used his bare hands rather than his magic unless it was only to deliver a non-fatal wound. He knew, logically, that there was very little difference, but he still balked at the act itself.

Still in two minds, he feinted, but to the wrong side, and he felt the man’s dagger rip through his shirt to pierce his shoulder, and cried out in agony as he stumbled.

Stumbling to the ground, he felt the man’s shadow pass over him and knew that he was about to deliver the final blow. He had no choice: in order to survive, he rolled to the side and stabbed upwards with his own blade, and felt it tear into flesh and hit bone.

Rising to his feet, he watched as his attacker fell to his knees, clutching at a wound to his neck that was spitting blood. His dagger lay at his side, and Merlin kicked it away gingerly, then looked up at the sound of pounding hooves.

Arthur skidded to a halt and leapt down, his sword still drawn and coated in fresh blood. His face, still flushed from the battle-lust, contorted into a horrific snarl as he took in the scene.

“Put pressure on that wound,” he had ordered Merlin, stepping over to the man, still on his knees, and kicked him onto his back. “Good work,” he said after a moment of watching the man choking on his own blood as it ran out of his mouth and stained the frosty ground. Then he aimed a kick to the man’s head, knocking him into unconsciousness, and turned back to Merlin.

“What happened?” he had asked, and Merlin had nodded at the lame Hugo.

For a moment, he had been sure that Arthur was going to strike either him or the horse, so furious was his expression, but then he seemed to calm himself with a great effort, and take control of the situation.

Now, a few hundred metres downstream from where he had tossed the bodies, he looked regretful as he sat back on his haunches to regard Merlin carefully. “I should have been prepared for any situation,” he said. “Next time, when I tell you to run, you will be able.”

He lifted up the coat so it still covered Merlin’s chest, but allowed him access to Merlin’s legs and hands, and proceeded to forced Merlin’s stiff fingers into the warm, lined leather. Too cold to stop him, Merlin was only able to watch. “What about you?” he asked.

“Shift aside, and I’ll show you,” Arthur said, then reached out to shift Merlin forward so that he could slide in between him and the tree, sitting right behind Merlin and bumping his head aside so that he could reach out and rearrange to coat over the two of them.

Merlin was glad Arthur couldn’t see how wide his eyes had become as the prince shifted behind him, curling his legs so that they rested warmly on top of Merlin’s, then tugging him back against his chest, strong and solid behind him. His nose rested just behind the soft shell of his ear, and his breath skittered hotly against his cheek before arcing in long puffs against the icy air.

He took a long, deep breath, focusing on the ache it caused as the air hit his lungs, and tried not to think about which of Arthur’s body parts were digging in where. He couldn’t, however, restrain himself from gasping and groaning when Arthur shoved his hands against Merlin’s sides, under his shirt and edging under the waistband of his trousers.

“Soon warm up,” he said into Merlin’s ear, lips brushing against the lobe, sounding inordinately pleased with himself.

“I meant,” Merlin began, but his voice was embarrassingly high-pitched, so he started again. “I meant, what about you, if I’m forced to run away and leave you?”

“I’ll deal with the situation and catch up,” Arthur said, as though it was the most obvious solution in the world.

“That doesn’t seem fair,” Merlin pointed out.

“I’m a soldier, Merlin. I’ve been training to defend myself all my life. You’re my servant, not my bodyguard, it isn’t your job to protect me,” Arthur explained, sounding like a long-suffering teacher.

“That’s what you think,” Merlin muttered.

“What?” Arthur asked.

“I said, it’s my prerogative, though, isn’t it? If I want to stay and fight.”

There was a long pause, during which Merlin simply enjoyed the feel of warming up again, Arthur’s body heat soaking into him and easing the chills which had been racking his body ever since he had received the injury to his shoulder.

“You never do what I say anyway,” Arthur said after a while, butting Merlin’s head with his nose. Merlin smiled, and hoped that Arthur could feel it in his cheeks. “If you’re going to refuse to do the sensible thing, I suppose we’d better work on your sword skills in the saddle. And you’ll need to ride something a bit quicker than Hugo.”

Merlin’s smile grew, and he turned his head a little so that his neck rested comfortably against Arthur’s shoulder, eyes fluttering shut sleepily. “Whatever you say, my lord.”

Arthur’s hands squeezed gently at his hips, and his light laughter followed him into slumber.

End.

MEMEMEMEME!

2008-12-01T11:51:35Z

I secretly love opportunities to talk about myself, and got tagged by the lovely prelusion! In turn I tag - with no pressure - lonelyfajita, __justaday, harem_ent, sej_1986, sweetkat417 and farothiel. Because guys, I really want to know what you eat for breakfast and stuff. These are things that define a person. Do you eat kippers? That tells me you are very patient. There is no way I would ever sit and pick all those stupid bones out. Do you like Coco Pops? You are after my own heart. Sausages! They rock and are fun!

1. What time did you get up this morning? 7.30am. To muck out my horse, only to find it's like, Gale Force 1000000 outside and he'd probably get blown away, so he's still in!
2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds!
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Brideshead Revisited. It made me want the original TV series, but was okay.
4. What is your favorite TV show? Right now, definitely MERLIN! (Although I am totally cheating on it with Sharpe. We've known each other longer.)
5. What do you usually have for breakfast? Some ridiculous fruit smoothie so I can pretend I'm healthy, followed by Coco Pops, LOL, or a bacon sandwich.
6. What is your middle name? Kate
7. What food do you dislike? I have an irrational fear of tomatoes. Seriously, I can just about manage a cherry one now, but those beef/plum ones? What the fuck is with them? I can't even have them on my plate. I also think crab is overrated.
8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? I have The Saturdays playing in my car, but mostly I YouTube!
9. What kind of car do you drive? Citroen Saxo and a Mercedes C200.
10. Favorite sandwich? Chicken and Stuffing from ASDA - I cannot leave the shop without one!
11. What characteristic do you despise? Total self-absorption, inability to say please and thank you.
12. Favourite item of clothing? Jammie Ps!
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Right now? Fuck, I don't know! Maybe Russia. I've always wanted to go but it's one of those holidays I'm all ONE DAY I'LL GO (BUT NEVER ACTUALLY WILL GET IT ORGANISED) about. Which is a shame.
14. Favourite brand of clothing? IDK. I love everything at Monsoon, and want a Chanel bag. But you've got to mix and match.
15. Where would you retire to? I'm staying in my house forever, it's too lovely to leave!
16. What was your most recent memorable birthday? I don't think I've had any bad birthdays - this year was cool but I have no memory of the last two hours. Possibly my own fault for refusing to choose a drink and asking people to surprise me. Oops.
17. Favourite sport to watch? Hockey, football, boxing - and especially three day eventing.
18. Furthest place you are “tagging” this? Um, I'm not sure. Maybe Canada?
19. Person you expect to send it back first? Haven't a clue, not too bothered!
20. When is your birthday? 3rd July
21. Are you a morning person or a night person? I'm both. I love being awake.
22. What is your shoe size? Probably between a 6 and 7, but nowhere does half sizes anymore.
23. Pets? Two demented, evil guinea pigs (Ruby and Flo), two cute dogs (Jack and Jodie) and my gorgeous horse (Cobbie - I didn't pick the name, but he is a cob).
24. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share with us? OH GOD! I AM SO BORING!
25. What did you want to be when you were little? A mountie. I was obsessed with Due South and like, asked my parents to drive past our garden wall slowly so I could practice leaping onto the roof, insisting that would get me in. They laughed. And possibly despaired behind closed doors.
26. How are you today? Very good! Lazily contemplating going food-shopping and for a walk to the harbour.
27. What is your favourite candy? I don't really like candy. Can I have a sandwich instead? Or prawns?
28. What is your favourite flower? Colourful ones, IDK.
29. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? ALL OF DECEMBER - I fucking love Christmas!
30. What’s your full name? Julia, but just about everyone calls me Jules. My own father has forgotten my full name.
31. What are you listening to right now? Oh, nothing! How depressing!
32. What was the last thing you ate? Dinner last night - frozen pizza. I love Dr. Oetker. What is he a doctor of?
33. Do you wish on stars? Haven't recently, but they're very pretty at the moment!
34. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? Sparkly purple! Although those glitter crayons were never as awesome as you thought they were going to be.
35. How is the weather right now? Warmer than yesterday but very windy!
36. The first person you spoke to on the phone today? One of my dad's clients, looking to speak to him.
37. Favourite soft drink? I hate fizzy juice.
38. Favourite restaurant? The Rocks, this awesome place near where I live. Come see me and we'll go! It's amazing and they usually give us free drinks! Awesome STEAK.
39. Real hair colour? Medium brown.
40. What was your favourite toy as a child? My scooter. And the toy dog I got - remember Pound Puppies? I was ridiculously attached to a grimy one I got at a car boot sale. He's still on my pillow.
41. Hugs or kisses? Hugs!
42. Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla.
43. Coffee or tea? Neither, yuck. I still drink childish apple and blackcurrant squash!
44. Do you want your friends to email you back? I love getting mail, but I am useless at replying msyelf so don't hold anyone to it!
45. When was the last time you cried? Earlier this week, probably just depressing myself while listening to music and doing dishes, IDK. Crying is fine - I hate doing it in front of people, but it's cathartic and all that.
46. What is under your bed? Nothing, it's one of those ones that's really close to the floor. Totally 70s.
47. What did you do last night? Looked after the dogs, watched Sharpe, managed to burn plastic in the kitchen and now it totally reeks! And then joined the parofthree!
48. What are you afraid of? Papercuts and convertible cars.
49. Salty or sweet? Can I choose savoury, to be difficult?
50. How many keys on your key ring? Two house keys, two sets of car keys.
51. Favorite day of the week? Tuesday! Heat magazine (I know, judge me all you like!) and Silent Witness repeats on Alibi!
52. If you can choose your talent, what would it be? Boxing. I throw a fucking awesome punch.
53. Do you make friends easily? Fairly. I love people.
54. How many people will you tag this to? A couple? Who are under no obligation!
55. How many will respond? Don't mind!

Three AU Snippets (Merlin)

2008-11-27T15:12:32Z

This is ridiculous. Apparently I'm not just content with the awesomeness of the show as it is, and nor am I simply satisfied by the genius extras and RPF. No, my brain feels that it is also necessary to shove these characters into other worlds instead, and so, as a result, I have three teeny snippets from AUs that I really shouldn't write but totally will, and now you have to be subjected to them too. HAHA!

And so: These are all pre-slash/femmeslash, Arthur/Merlin and Morgana/Gwen, and I'd rate them PG-13. Ish.

I have been watching far too much Sharpe recently, and this is the result: making Arthur an officer in Wellington's army and making Merlin a private. Whose paths are destined to cross, of course. Those are the SD's rules. I do not, of course, own anything to do with Sharpe, he belongs to Bernard Cornwell, ITV, and Sean Bean. I just have a total kink for men running around in uniforms with swords and rifles, and it kind of fits, okay. If you haven't seen Sharpe, then I am sorry, because you're missing out on over 30 hours of awesome television, and a good deal of Sean Bean taking his kit off and putting his sexy, manly accent to good use. This is a picture of Sharpe and Harper, and this shows what their uniforms were like. I am not very good with historical details, and am stealing blatantly from the TV series, so apologies in advance for that.

Words: 2555

Rifles

The clatter of expensive hooves on hard, sandy ground had the men shifting and looking up curiously to see who would be riding out of camp in the early evening.

"Eyes down," Sergeant Eagles muttered, cuffing the backs of the soldiers' heads. "Bloody fop."

Merlin peered up from under dark eyelashes at the fop in question, trotting past regally, resplendent in English red with his golden hair flashing in the cold sun.

"Should he be going off like that?" he asked Eagles. "The French aren't too far from here."

"He's General Pendragon's son. He can do whatever the bloody hell he wants, including get himself killed. One less officer for us to have to bow down to, Emrys."

Merlin looked up at his sergeant, watching as the sharp features contorted into a bitter scowl.

Eagles' head whipped around and he glared at Merlin when he caught his curious gaze. "Clearly you haven't got enough to do, Private. Since you're such a concerned old maid, you can take these shirts to the river and wash them." He flung a pile of stinking laundry at Merlin and bared his teeth expectantly. "Get on with it!"

Merlin obeyed, schooling his face into passive compliance until he was just outside of the camp boundaries, kneeling by the river sorting through the dirty shirts. Only then did he allow himself to long for home, where everything he owned was not covered in dust and he had been able to speak to people without constantly being aware of their rank. He had imagined Spain to be a land of adventure and fascinating history - it possibly was, but all Merlin got to see was endless fields and decimated villages as he marched and camped with the army.

He was three shirts into the pile when he heard the yell, and looked up at the horizon to see five figures on horseback galloping at breakneck speed towards the river.

He recognized the golden flash of hair first, the Pendragon fop from earlier, and then he distinguished the blue uniforms of the French; four of them in pursuit.

He wasn't really thinking as he leapt to his feet and hurriedly loaded his musket, seeing that no one else was around, and waited at the ford for them to come into range. It would take him another thirty seconds to reload after he fired, he thought desperately as the thundering hooves got closer - too much time to do anything but delay the inevitable - but he couldn't just stand and watch.

He fired as soon as the first Frenchman came into range, his aim finding his heart just as the blond Englishman entered the water with a splash.

Merlin was already fumbling for more ammunition when two more shots rang out, this time from the two French soldiers furthest away, and Pendragon's horse let out a scream and fell into the water, his rider toppling with him.

The second attacker was almost at the water by then, and though Pendragon was fighting to his feet, he was slow and the water he was struggling in had turned dark with blood, and Merlin couldn’t be sure if it was all from his fallen mount or whether the man was already doomed. Even if he was uninjured, the oncoming Frenchman would surely strike him down with his sword if Merlin did not make some stand.

He leapt into the water and across the ford, placing himself between the attacker and Pendragon, and as he drew his short sword with trepidation, he hoped that his mother would be informed that he died honourably, without pain.

When the cavalryman slammed into the water, he attempted to wait until the right moment, when he could smell the horse's sweat, then lunged with his sword and ducked all at once, shutting his eyes in blind hope.

His sword never made contact, and he found himself being pulled under the river's surface by a strong arm, a sharp pain burning across his shoulder as he dropped.

"Get behind me," he was instructed when he resurfaced, the blond hauling him roughly to his feet. Pendragon looked distinctly un-foppish now, his hair plastered to his skull and blood smeared across his temple and brow from some wound to his head.

He followed the order obediently, standing back as the Frenchman turned his horse and headed back to them again, sword raised high with a vicious yell.

Pendragon let out a snarl and dived for him, grabbing his attacker's arm as he slashed and pulling him from his horse, then landing a brutal punch to his face then kidneys to incapacitate him.

“Here!” Merlin caught the French musket Pendragon threw to him with ease, and spun automatically to fire on one of the two remaining cavalrymen.

Equipped with the second fallen Frenchman's sword, Pendragon dealt with the fourth man easily, a quick dodge and a slash to the belly.

Merlin breathed heavily, looking at the fallen men in shock, as he realised that he had somehow survived. A hand falling on his shoulder reminded him that the blond had too, and he whirled round to face him, noting the Captain's insignia on his red uniform. "Sir!" he saluted, then winced as his shoulder flared in pain and his vision blurred.

Pendragon's hand fastened on the elbow of his good arm, keeping him upright, and he grinned at him with sharp white teeth as they began to head to shore. "Bloody good shooting, Private!"

Merlin attempted a responding smile, but his teeth were chattering so hard he was sure it came out as a grimace. The chill faded somewhat as they emerged from the water into the Spanish sun, and then he let out a yelp as fingers poked and prodded at his upper back, pain blossoming once more.

"My first wound," he mumbled, in some awe, and then Pendragon was standing in front of him, blood dying his pale hair a sticky red.

"Your first?" he asked incredulously. "Well, you'll live. I've had worse."

Merlin blinked in surprise at that, but he had no time to muse on the fop's apparent battle history as two men approached, one of them in full regalia, general's insignia on his uniform. Merlin stood up straight automatically, for he may not have been attached to this camp for long but he knew that this was the senior Pendragon, their commander at present.

"Sir," the blond said, not quite as respectfully as he should.

"Good God, Arthur, are you all right?" the General asked, reaching out for the wound to Arthur's temple.

"It's just a crease - I'm fine," Arthur said, ducking away. "Thanks to this man's fine shooting."

Merlin was standing ramrod straight, trying not to tremble too much as the other of the two men peeled his shirt off the sticky wound.

The General moved in front of him, looking him over with a cool, appraising glare. "He's a scruffy looking thing, but that's hardly unusual for Nosey’s lot. What's your name, boy?"

"Private Merlin Emrys, sir!"

"How does his wound look, Gaius?"

The older man ceased his prodding and moved to stand beside the General. "A few stitches and he'll heal nicely," he reported, eyes crinkling at Merlin kindly.

"Well then. It seems you saved my son's life, Emrys. In return, I'm going to offer you a position as my son's aide. Once your wound has been treated, you will be assigned to him and serve his needs."

"Father-" Arthur began, but the General cut him off with a decisive wave.

"Gaius, look after him. Arthur, if you're going to insist on continuing your ridiculous attempt to make a name for yourself, you're going to need someone with a good set of eyes at your back. Now, fall in and accompany me to my tent."

Arthur did so, and Merlin watched them go, then nervously looked up at the man apparently named Gaius - he could see no evidence of any rank on his beige coat.

"Major William Gaius," he supplied, spotting Merlin's curious gaze. "I'm an advisor to his Generalship. I'll take you to get your wound seen to."

“You’re a surgeon, too?” Merlin asked, still feeling somewhat dazed, and Gaius took his arm with a chuckle.

“My coat buckles up over a number of duties, young Merlin, but I’m afraid treating the wounded is not one of them. No, I’m taking you to see Mr. Hurt. He’ll see you right.”

Mr. Hurt was a small man with dry skin and nimble fingers, who made light work of sewing Merlin up while Gaius looked on with interest and explained just what Merlin’s new duties would be.

“For the most part, you’ll be making sure Captain Pendragon is comfortable - setting up his tent, turning down his bed, and always having a hot cup of tea ready for him if he needs it. But Arthur is not your usual officer. He’s got it into his daft head that instead of accepting a Colonel’s commission, which General Pendragon was all set to purchase for him, he’d keep the captaincy he earned in India and join up with the Camelot Rifles, and earn his promotions.”

“It doesn’t sound that daft,” Merlin said, straining his neck to look up from his face-down position on the cot.

“An idealist, are you?” Gaius asked with a smile. “You’ll suit Arthur well, then. But watch out for him, Merlin. He’s the type of officer that won’t settle for fitting in - he won’t be happy in the mess. He wants to be out there, fighting, and that’ll mean you’ll be out there too.”

“I’m no coward,” Merlin protested hotly. “I may not have seen combat yet, but I’m a good shot and I’m prepared to die for my country.”

Gaius reached out to pat Merlin’s shoulder. “Just make sure you don’t die for no reason at all,” he said, heading for the door. “If you decide to join him, there’s a new uniform waiting for you with Sergeant Eagles. Put it on, and meet Arthur by the ford tomorrow at dawn. Nobody would think less of you should you choose not to turn up.“

He exited, and Merlin stilled on the cot, resting his chin on his hands as the surgeon began to dress the wound, considering Gaius’ words.

“Will you go with him?” Hurt enquired after a few moments, startling him.

“I - well, I haven’t decided,” he replied, frowning. “I’m not sure - I trained for a clerk, back home. I wasn’t expecting to do much more than that out here.”

“Sometimes, our path is not of our choosing,” Hurt said vaguely. “It chooses us.”

“So, are you saying I should take the opportunity?” Merlin asked, confused.

“I’m not telling you anything. I’m just suggesting that one should not try to avoid one’s destiny. All done.”

He clapped Merlin’s back, and Merlin struggled to a sitting position, pulling his white shirt back on, and eyed the mysterious surgeon warily. “Er, thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Hurt said benignly. “Keep it dry, and change the dressing every two days for a fortnight.”

Merlin nodded, easing himself onto his feet and testing the shoulder, finding the mobility unaffected, if a little stiff.

“It’ll soon heal up in the mountains,” he thought he heard Hurt mumble behind him, but when he whirled around, the surgeon was busy tidying his instruments, and Merlin took his leave quickly.

Eagles was waiting for him when he returned to their billet, and he chucked a pile of dark green clothing towards him. “I hear you’re turning waiter for that idiot Pendragon. New uniform. Bloody disgrace, if you ask me.”

Merlin waited until Eagles had wandered off to find some other Private to torment before scowling. “I didn’t.”

He picked up the clothing and took it over to his bunk, and laid it out carefully. It was a far cry from the red, white and gold of his current jacket, which hung too large and bulky on him anyway. The green jacket was clearly well-worn, a few worn patches on the elbows and a hole that looked suspiciously bullet-shaped in the back, and the trousers were stained and did not properly match. But the silver buttons gleamed, even in the dim candlelight, and Merlin fingered the black detailing with a slightly shaky hand, lips parted in awe. He could tell already that it would be a perfect fit on his slight frame.

Folding the uniform carefully for the morning, Merlin pulled his threadbare blanket over him, and made up his mind.

---

Arthur’s grin on seeing him only helped convince Merlin that he had made the right choice, as he approached the ford and spotted Arthur waiting, sparkling in matching green. His uniform was clearly brand new, fitted him like a ball of wax, and the detailing was even more ornate.

Merlin clicked his heels and saluted when he reached him, but Arthur seemed not to notice, and instead thrust a rifle into his hands, relieving him of his musket and setting it aside.

“Baker Rifle,” he announced - unnecessarily, for Merlin had seen soldiers carrying these and envied them, and he ran a finger along the smooth wood in reverence. “If you can kill a Frog at 200 yards with a bloody musket, I can’t wait to see what you’ll do with one of these.”

Merlin grinned shyly, and felt himself blush. Looking away, he saw the carcass of Arthur’s mount pulled up at the side of the river, and frowned. “I’m sorry about your horse.”

“Shame, he was a fine beast,” Arthur agreed. “Poor Monty. Still, it probably would have happened eventually anyway, and I prefer fighting from the ground. Where we’re going, he would just have been a drain on resources.”

“Where are we going? Sir,” Merlin asked.

Arthur grinned at him again, and ran his tongue over his sharp teeth in clear anticipation. “We’re going to be going 100 miles behind enemy lines, Merlin. Special mission from my father and Major Gaius - devil that he is.”

“Major Gaius?”

“Well, both of them,” Arthur said casually. “What did Gaius tell you he did?”

“He said that he was an advisor to your father, sir. An engineer.”

Arthur let out a rich laugh. “Gaius is one of my father’s Exploring Officers, Merlin. He’s a bloody spy, and a crafty bugger. But he’ll make sure we don’t get stuck doing mindless duties. We’re going to be doing something useful.” He eyed Merlin carefully, tilting his head. “That uniform suits you.”

“Thank you, sir,” Merlin said, embarrassed. “Er, likewise.”

A throat cleared from behind them, and they turned to see Gaius approaching on his own mount, taking a hit of snuff and wiping at his nose with a handkerchief. He looked at Merlin and bowed his head almost imperceptibly, his eyes a mixture of respect and concern. “Time to go, lads,” he said. “Follow on.”

“Shoulder your rifle, Private,” Arthur instructed, and looked at Merlin with clear, bright blue eyes. “Ready?”

Merlin straightened up and hooked the rifle over his shoulder, forgetting even to wince as it caught his wound, feeling his blood pump faster through his veins as though Arthur’s enthusiasm was catching. “Ready,” he confirmed.

Arthur’s grin grew even wider. “Then let’s go to war.”

Another product of my watching too much TV, this time Silent Witness, which is a show about three Home Office pathologists on the BBC. BRADLEY WATCHES IT TOO, GUYS, HE SAYS SO IN THE DVD COMMENTARY. AS THOUGH I NEEDED AN EXCUSE TO LOVE HIM MORE. Again, blatant thievery.

Words: 732

CSI: Camelot

The wind is furious and loud, and batters the windows of Merlin’s Fiesta, rocking the little car and making it even harder for him to suit up in the cramped space - but he knows that if he attempts to do it outside, his clothes will be soaked within seconds and the suit will likely get away from him.

When he finally does get out, the car door is nearly ripped away from him by a vicious gust, and he breathes in sharply at a sudden icy sluice of rain that hits his face.

He’s parked in a lay-by on the B298 behind two police cars and a BMW, and to get to the crime scene he has to climb up the steep, muddy bank by the road. Fighting to keep the rain out of his eyes and hold onto his bag, when Merlin gets to the top he slips up and teeters on the edge, struggling dizzily to keep his balance.

A hand reaches out and grabs him by the elbow of his free hand, and yanks him forward onto slightly firmer ground.

“Are you the pathologist?” his rescuer asks when he‘s recovered his equilibrium, and Merlin turns to face a man who looks far more handsomely at ease than anyone wearing a blue plastic coverall, hair flattened to his skull, should have any right to look. “You took your bloody time getting here.”

“Er, yeah,” Merlin replies, getting out his ID. “I’m Merlin Emrys. Sorry about that, I’m new, and this isn’t a very car-friendly city.” He’s just spent the last forty minutes navigating the confusing one-way streets of Camelot, and it’s practically impossible to read a map whilst driving in the rain at 3.30 in the morning.

“It isn’t a very prostitute-friendly city either, apparently,” the man says, seemingly disinterested in his difficult journey. “Come on.”

He moves towards the tent, clearly expecting Merlin to follow him. “Sorry, but who are you?” Merlin asks as he squelches along beside him, and receives an incredulous look in response.

“I’m Arthur Pendragon, the leading DI on the case,” the man says, as though he can’t quite believe Merlin doesn’t automatically know who he is.

Arthur proves himself to be just the kind of detective Merlin usually hates to work with, hovering beside him as he tries to do his job quickly, efficiently, and impassively. As soon as Merlin has taken the initial liver temperature, Arthur is demanding a time of death, and then waving his hands dangerously close to the gaping wound in the victim’s stomach. “Is that the cause of death?”

Merlin resorts to physical measures and smacks Arthur’s hands away like a mother would a child’s in the kitchen, as his so-far polite requests for him to keep a more substantial distance haven’t had any effect. “I can’t answer any of your questions with any certainty until I have performed the full post-mortem back at the mortuary,” he snaps. “I would estimate that she has been dead for over twelve hours, given the maximal rigor, and from this very cursory examination I would suggest that this wound could have lead to her death from massive blood loss.”

Arthur blinks at him. “Is there anything definite that you can tell me?”

Merlin huffs out a frustrated breath. “The body is that of a young girl, probably no older than eighteen, and from the bruises on her inner thighs I would say that prior to her death she engaged in intercourse. Of course, I can’t say whether it was consensual or not, at the moment, but you did seem to think she was a prostitute.”

“I don’t just think it,” Arthur informs him darkly. “She works on Bell Street - I let her off the hook a month ago.”

Merlin isn’t too sure of what to say to that. He doubts that Arthur is a man who would think too well of useless apologies.

“I’ll do the post-mortem first thing in the morning,” he says after a moment. “I’m assuming you’ll want to attend. To observe.”

Arthur agrees with a smirk, and slides back down the bank with effortless ease as Merlin trips and stumbles through the mud. He slips out of his protective suit and shoots Merlin a wide grin while he is still struggling to escape his own, then calls out as he climbs into - of course - the BMW. “Looking forward to working with you, Merlin!”

Merlin shakes his head in despair.

I felt ridiculously guilty that I wasn't giving the girls anything alternative to do, and then my raging, slightly embarrassing love of Cagney and Lacey reared its head. And so, Morgana and Gwen became female cops in the misogynist eighties, enjoying a faintly lesbian partnership. You know you want more of that. Again, stealing, Barney Rosenzweig owns the original TV show. Which hasn't come out on DVD apart from the first series. *cries*

Words: 425

On The Streets

Morgana slammed into the ladies’ toilets with a vicious yell of frustration, and pounded her fist against the stained, grimy mirror.

“Careful,” Gwen said, following more calmly behind. “Break one of those and it’s seven years bad luck.”

“I couldn’t possibly have any more bad luck than I do already,” Morgana spat. “Stuck in a misogynist hellhole of a cop shop, working with the most arrogant, chauvinistic pigs I’ve ever met in my life - we should be out on the streets solving murders, robberies, the big stuff - not baiting and trapping pathetic middle-aged creeps who can’t get sex unless they pay for it!”

She paced for a few moments longer, her hair flicking out angrily to match her mood, and Gwen waited patiently for her fit of temper to pass.

It did, eventually, or at least it faded enough that she stopped pacing and offered Gwen an apologetic smile. “Sorry. I don’t want to take it out on you.”

“Hey, I’m your partner,” Gwen said, shrugging sweetly. “I can take it. And I agree - I don’t think I can suffer wearing this ridiculous outfit for one more day.”

She gestured at her cheap zebra-print jacket, buckled over an indecently short - in her opinion - sparkly red dress and killer heels, and looked at Morgana, similarly garishly attired but looking much more at ease with it.

“You look - good,” Morgana said, surprising her, and Gwen blushed and looked down at the cracked tiles. “I mean, it’s a change from your usual, you know.”

Gwen did know - Morgana breezed into work every day looking like she’d just walked off the cover of Vogue, all tight jeans and colourful tops that flaunted her figure, while Gwen preferred muted brown and navy, revealing as little skin and curves as possible.

A loud bang at the door made both of them jump, and was followed by a brash yell. “Yo, ladies, I ain’t got all day. Let’s go!”

“Coming,” Gwen called back politely, cutting off whatever Morgana was about to retort with a gentle hand on her arm. “The only way we’re going to get off the prostitute duty is by solving all those dull, boring cases on our desks and proving to those guys out there that we’re just as capable as them. We made plain clothes, Morgana, that’s something all in itself.”

Morgana seethed for a moment, then relaxed a little in Gwen’s grip. “Okay,” she sighed wearily. “You’re right. Let’s show these sons of bitches just what us girls can do.”

Consider this post market research, or simply fishing for compliments - I would love to know what you guys think of them - is there a burning desire to see Arthur and Merlin storm the breach at Badajoz? To see Merlin, the wily pathologist, solve the mystery of Jack the Ripper with his genius? (Not really.) And what about Morgana and Gwen, flying across New York in their Chevrolet Caprice?

Queen of Fake Smiles (Merlin)

2008-11-25T23:13:24Z

Title: Queen of Fake Smiles
Author: julesoh
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Merlin
Pairing: Gwen/Lancelot, implied Arthur/Merlin
Word Count: 643
Summary: Gwen has been training to be queen all her life. She just never knew it.
Notes: Written for the third challenge at merlin_las, for the prompt Gwen and Lancelot, no more than 650 words.

When Gwen was just six years old, her mother had asked her from her sickbed what she wanted to be when she grew up.

Gwen, enjoying spending time with her mother in one of her lucid moments - which had become increasingly infrequent as her health deteriorated and the kindly physician’s potions grew stronger - decided quickly on her answer. “A princess,” she said. “A queen.”

“Queen Guinevere,” her mother had said, delighted, testing the words on her tongue and approving. “You would make a good queen, fair and just.” Her eyes grew dark and she clasped Gwen’s hand tightly. “A good queen must always remember to smile, Gwen, even when she is very sad, or has suffered great tragedy. A queen’s smile gives strength to her friends, her family, and her people. It keeps those around her from growing sad themselves. Do you think you could do that?”

Gwen did not understand the desperation in her mother’s gaunt face until two weeks later, at her funeral. She looked up at her father’s red-rimmed eyes and blinked her own tears away, and made herself smile.

---

“Don’t go,” Gwen begs, voice breaking. “Please, Lancelot.”

Lancelot moves closer, and lifts a hand to her cheek, brushing the dampness away with his thumb.

“I have to,” he murmurs, and leans in to capture her lips with his own, gentle and secure.

She responds with a muffled sob against his mouth, and when he pulls away there are fresh tears coursing down her face. “I’m sorry,” she gasps, and Lancelot strokes her hair.

“You are so beautiful,” he says, and Gwen looks at him disbelievingly, and sniffs and summons her well-used smile. “Don’t!” Lancelot says at the quirk of her mouth, and cups her cheek. “Your tears are real.”

When they kiss again, Gwen does not blink her tears away, and it is salty and wet and awkward, but Lancelot does not seem to mind.

Gwen links her arms around his neck, and wonders how to smile when she really means it.

---

Gwen’s cheeks ache at the end of every day from the effort of holding the corners of her mouth up: her eyes are stiff and her lips are sore from strain.

She lets her smile fall with a groan of relief as she runs a brush through Morgana’s hair; allows herself to frown as she detangles the glossy strands.

“You look unhappy, Gwen,” Morgana says, watching her in the mirror. “Your smile makes my days pass quicker - what can I do to bring yours back?”

Gwen takes a breath and looks up, meeting Morgana’s eyes in the glass. “I’m fine, my lady,” she says, and curves her lips in a well-practised motion. “I’m fine.”

---

There is an apology in Arthur’s eyes as he kisses his queen goodbye, though Gwen does not see it, her eyes fixed on Lancelot as he mounts his horse. She can feel the regret as Arthur presses cool lips to hers, though, and as he takes his queen in his arms, he whispers in her ear, “Keep smiling.”

She twists her mouth into the familiar expression, and prays her smile does not look so brittle and false as Morgana’s beside her. She means it when she tells Arthur to be careful, but the icy chill in her bones does not come from fear for him alone.

“I will leave you to your queen’s duty,” Morgana says, turning away as Arthur and Lancelot lead their men out. Gwen spares a glance for Merlin, riding alongside them, and tries not to grimace at the familiar jealousy - that she cannot accompany her loved one to battle, yet Merlin is allowed to stay at Arthur’s side.

The last of the battalion disappears among the trees, and Gwen turns away too, back to her castle and her people, their faces a grim collective as their leader heads towards possible death.

She does what she has trained herself to do, and smiles.

I DO NOT HAVE AN ICON ANGSTY ENOUGH

2008-11-22T23:25:15Z

EVERYONE ON MY FLIST WHO DOES NOT WATCH MERLIN (I THINK YOU'RE IN THE MINORITY, LOL), WATCH IT! IT IS THE MOST SATISFYING BUT SOUL-DESTROYING SHOW EVER, OK?

This is possibly the gayest thing that has ever graced my television screen. EVER.

Uther = awesome with only about two minutes of screen time. He is an awesome king, when he's not being paranoid.

Merlin's mother (I'm going to wait to confirm the spelling of her name!) = awesome IN GENERAL. Although I got weirdly intense vibes from her and Merlin, which I am going to IGNORE, show. Motherly love only. BUT! She ships Arthur/Merlin! She adores her son! How protective was Merlin of her? My heart, it burst.

Arthur's first words to Merlin were "I'm sorry." Doesn't that prove their love? I was already so satisfied with this entire episode with just this scene, because it's so sincere, including the "terrible servant" part because that is Arthur at his most affectionate, he could not have shown Merlin more love. He got Merlin's mother an audience with Uther! His regret at not being able to help regardless of Camelot's boundaries! Oh, God, I just. And I'm rewatching right now - and Arthur's "You will be coming back," trying not to make it sound like a question. Oh, boys.

It makes me so happy that this show is consistent, with its references to previous episodes. Doesn't that make you happy? I mean, our show just like, really tries, it gets everything so perfect.

AHAHAHA! "Swordy!" And Gwen's face. She is so over her crush, and I adore her in this episode. She's at her best when she's going for equality, and I loved the Gwen/Arthur, I really did. "Guinevere." Obviously, I see them getting together as a marriage of convenience so she can go off with Lancelot and Merlin and Arthur can do their thing, but there's such a respect between them.

Morgana was beautiful this episode - I love that she accessorises her warrior outfit with that FIERCE necklace. And her banter with Arthur and her gratitude towards Merlin. And her blatant shipping of Arthur/Merlin. And her and Gwen sleeping beside one another. God, there is nothing I dislike about this episode?

"She is the only person I know who isn't frightened of him." Uther/Morgana FTW. Although I think Arthur is more frightened of hurting him, now, by betraying him.

MERLIN! IF YOU KEEP DOING THE CUTEST SPELLS IN THE WORLD I MAY SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST!

"Put the sword down Merlin, you look ridiculous." !!!!!They are married!!!!!

Merlin twitching adorably by the fire while Arthur casually makes tactical plans is just - what has this show turned me into? I am pathetically in love with it.

FUCK YEAH, ARTHUR ON HORSEBACK, HAIR FLICKING ABOUT IN THE WIND. I LOVE MY SHOW. HE'S ALL SRS BZNS AND I CAN'T EVEN BREATHE.

I grew to love Will, but I was not a big fan of his character until he died. Joe Dempsie totally sold that. And I have been watching Sharpe all day, so I have some awesome death scenes to compare it to.

Arthur's speeches this episode, and his sword fighting - again, I have been watching a lot of Sharpe recently, so I was probably more in a mood for amazing speeches and dramatic battle scenes than usual, but he rocked this episode, ok? He was logical in his arguments, and fair to the people, letting them choose - and god, wasn't this episode all about equality and choosing for yourself? - and inspirational in his speeches. And I love the way they've really gone to the trouble of making his fighting style right for his character - he's so fast, but he'll fucking headbutt or smash someone with his shoulder, probably knee them in the bollocks if it means he fucking wins and beats his enemy. And hey, apparently I do have a type, blond men with strong noses (*g*) who can fight well with a sword and ride a horse. Finding a husband is going to be so easy now I've worked that out. Really.

OMG, THE FOOT SCENE. IDEK, I've never had a foot fetish, but the gesture was just so familiar and playful and intimate, I found it unbelievably slashy.

Oh, also, thank you for reminding me, shepsangel, it is confirmed in CANON: Merlin can't hold his fucking drink.

Arthur helping Merlin with his wrist armour is possibly the most intimate moment in an episode full of intimate moments. They just seem so at ease with one another, and so open and vulnerable, particularly Arthur. Merlin broke my heart again this week ~~with the power of his cheekbones~~ with his desperation, his fear that Arthur won;t trust or lvoe him anymore if he reveals his magic. Which is startling, from a guy who insisted that his magic was what defined him earlier in the series. That's how important they are to one another. God, this show makes me so sappy. And seriously, lonelyfajita, are you like, scrying in a bowl of water, watching the episodes before they come out, you psychic glitter-genius? YOU CALLED IT.

God, don't they look beautiful this episode? Morgana, Gwen, and the boys, with their cheekbones and lips and HAIR.

The fight choreography in this show ROCKS.

Merlin doing magic - he looks so incredibly powerful. Dangerously so. Colin was amazing in this episode, really heartbreaking and beautiful and so intense. I just, really want to give him a hug. Or have Arthur give him a hug. IDK. He just ... he's under all this enormous pressure and he's desperately trying to be someone, but he can't be because of Camelot, and seriously. How is he coping?

The rest of this episode slays me. I don't even know how to process it. Arthur's initial fury, which was then sidelined. But then he's so tender with Will, even after he's found out that he is the sorceror. IDK, I'm choosing to read it as Arthur knowing, or at least being half-sure that it's actually Merlin who is the sorceror. The way he looks at Merlin just isn't certain. Like he wants to believe Will, but just doesn't. And then when Will asks if he's not going to kill him, and Arthur says "Of course not." Well, Will is already dying, but Arthur glances at Merlin, and there's an edge to his voice and just - this is heartbreaking, okay? The tears in Merlin's eyes, the way Arthur ushers the girls out.

Seriously, Will's death scene. He's in so much pain, and he's being so loyal, and he cares so much for Merlin. Nobody in this show is just a character. They are someone. And Merlin;s hands rubbing desperately at the back of Will's head, even though there is a total inconsistency, is perfect. It's so real.

And then by the fire, Arthur's voice is so flat and cold. I refuse to believe he doesn't suspect. Everything he says is veiled and hard. "You know how dangerous magic is. You shouldn't have kept this from me, Merlin." It's like, he's so furious with Merlin, but at the same time he wouldn't kill him, "Of course not." But he's still furious, and this scene - throughout the rest of the episode, they've been closer than they ever have been before, more open and sincere and sweet and, yes, loving, than ever, and then this. They're not even looking at each other. There's this sudden distance between them. Even on the ride home.

Why does this show do this? I got everything I wanted from this, even when they totally broke them at the end!

thisissirius, lonelyfajita, I am so glad we are currently discussing WHO TOPS WHO because if I dwelled too much on the pain I might die.

BUT! Roll on next week - a unicorn, bitches. As though our fandom needed another thing to add to its list of WHY I AM THE MOST AWESOME SHOW EVER. CANON FUCKING UNICORNS.

Ahem. That turned out to be way, way more angsty and LONG than I expected. Oh, Merlin.

A Fire Is Burning (Merlin)

2008-11-19T00:29:40Z

Second merlin_las challenge: Morgana. Apologies for those who have seen it already!

Title: A Fire Is Burning
Author: julesoh
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Merlin
Word Count: 493
Summary: Morgana, saying goodbye.
Notes: Written for the second challenge at merlin_las, for the prompt Morgana, no more than 500 words.

The tips of Morgana’s dark hair tickle the smooth surface of the water, causing Arthur and Uther’s faces to wobble slightly in the scrying basin as she observes them eat their dinner. Only the scratch of their forks against their plates, magnified in the dark cavern Morgana stands in, is audible against their tense silence.

Uther breaks it, smacking his lips before glaring at his son. “There is still no sign of her. Every day I receive the same report: nothing.”

“You have assigned my best men to the task,” Arthur says cagily, watching Uther over the top of his goblet.

“But I do not have you,” Uther points out with a tilt of his head.

“I will not find Morgana for you so that you may kill her.”

“Dammit, Arthur,” Uther explodes, smashing a fist on the table. “First I am betrayed by her, and now by you.”

Arthur does not flinch.

“Get out!” Uther snarls after a moment of harsh silence, and Arthur obeys.

Morgana whispers a language newly learnt, meaning to follow Arthur as he leaves, but a stab of pain in her toes makes her gasp and lose her concentration.

She can feel herself start to sweat as the pain flickers up her calves and then to her knees, and dark heat invades all of her senses. The water ripples over Arthur’s retreating back, then hisses as the image twists and changes to one of orange fire, crackling and sparking wickedly as she opens her mouth to scream.

As abruptly as it started, the pain dies away, leaving Morgana trembling and breathless from the flashback. She is too shaken and drained to even jump as cool fingers dance along the back of her neck, and a voice whispers in her ear, “Ready?”

“I was just-”

“Saying goodbye to old friends,” Nimueh supplies, gently nudging Morgana to one side so that she can replace her hands on the sides of the bowl.

Arthur reappears in the water, teeth clenched as he walks down a dimly-lit corridor. “To a man who would have stood by and watched you burn.”

Arthur’s face is replaced by Gwen’s, wiping her forehead tiredly in Gaius’ infirmary. “To a girl who shied away from your powers.”

Merlin’s eyes burn through the very surface of the water, flashing gold as he prepares Arthur's bed with a casual wave of his hand. “To a boy who could have used his own gifts to help save you, but sought only to preserve his secrets.”

Morgana’s heart throbs against her ribs as the final face appears: Uther, tearing at a piece of chicken with his teeth, his forehead carved into a frown. Nimueh leans close. “To the man who would be your murderer.”

Morgana hesitates for one moment longer, eyes fixed on Uther’s tight expression. “If we do this, they will all die,” she confirms.

Nimueh nods, a coy smile playing at the corners of her mouth.

Morgana curls her lips into a hateful sneer, and plunges her hand through Uther’s heart. “Then I am ready.”

34 Merlin Icons - The Beginning of the End

2008-11-12T19:01:22Z

Mostly from The Beginning of the End, with a couple of recolours from The Gates of Avalon thrown in. Despite my huge, giant, and ever-growing love for Uther, I still only make his face orange, red and purple. And it's not an attractive look on him. So there's mostly Morgana, quite a bit of Merlin, and, for me, a shockingly small amount of Arthur!

Thank you, prelusion, for the gorgeous caps I stole from your picspam! :-)

Examples


1	2	3	4

01-30 The Beginning of the End
30-34 The Gates of Avalon

Feel free to use as bases, customise however you like, and comment and credit is always appreciated but not required. :-)


1	2	3	4

5	6	7	8

9	10	11	12

13	14	15	16

17	18	19	20

21	22	23	24

25	26	27	28

29	30	31	32

33	34

Run (Merlin)

2008-11-10T17:20:26Z

Posted here simply because I like everything in one place and would lose track of it otherwise; my entry for the first challenge at merlin_las. Apologies for anyone who has already seen it!

Title: Run
Author: julesoh
Rating: G
Fandom: Merlin
Word Count: 497
Summary: Arthur and Uther, separately, in The Poisoned Chalice.
Spoilers: Spoilers up to 1x04.
Notes: Written for the first challenge at merlin_las, for the prompt Arthur and Uther Pendragon, no more than 500 words.

Arthur breathes harshly in time with his footfalls. His chest aches from the cool autumn air, but as the trees become fewer and Camelot's high walls get closer, he pushes himself to an even quicker pace.

It's not yet midday, but the sky is dusk-dark and a fine drizzle has flattened Arthur's hair to his skull and made the fallen leaves covering the rough path slippery and dangerous. Arthur navigates them with ease - he's run this path twelve times this morning alone, and countless times before that.

When Arthur was younger and didn't follow his father's orders, his punishment invariably required him to run this route, the number of laps he was assigned depending on the severity of his infraction. Nowadays, Uther punishes him by throwing him in the castle dungeon. Apparently his acts of defiance are far more serious now than they ever have been in the past, but Arthur has never felt less guilty about disobeying his father in his life.

Uther ordered Arthur’s release before a full week passed, though they have not spoken to one another directly since. Arthur has only spoken to Gaius, briefly, checking to see that the antidote was successful.

Now running alongside the castle wall, Arthur steals a glance up at Camelot as she looms over him. She never looks grey, even in the rain, and as Arthur heads back towards the trees for another lap, he allows himself to suppose, briefly, that running here reminds him of a time when he thought his father was right in all he said and did; when defying him actually felt wrong.

---

Uther watches Arthur run from the uppermost castle balcony, scowling as the light rain dampens his shoulders.

He hasn't seen Arthur since their argument in the dungeon, and did not expect to find him running this trail. It has been two years, he recalls, since he has punished Arthur with laps. After Morgana’s teenage years, he had anticipated dealing with another defiant child, but Arthur never rebelled in that way. His acts of disobedience had been borne out of recklessness and a stubborn will, and had ceased by the time he was seventeen.

Yet Arthur has been different since the attempt on his life by that vengeful sorceress, and despite Uther’s original belief that Arthur was simply more rattled by the incident than he admitted, Arthur shows no sign of reverting back to his usual self. He pays more attention now - to Morgana, to his odd manservant, and to Uther himself.

Uther longs to see Arthur look at him with the same trust he used to, needs him to understand that he is proud of his son’s strong sense of right and wrong. He wishes that he had been the one to give him that knowledge.

As he watches Arthur disappear into the forest - he’s so fast, he thinks proudly, a flash of red tunic and then he is gone - he resolves to tell him that what he did was right.

Also, shantirosa, I have been listening to Center of the Sun on repeat since yesterday, good call! :-)

Merlin 1x08 - The Beginning of the End

2008-11-08T21:40:14Z

OMG, YOU GUYS, THAT WAS AMAZING!

Seriously, this show can do no wrong. I'm a state of awe. And it only grew at the National Lottery because Bradley looked hot, although WHERE WAS COLIN and why did Angel team those trousers with that top? Although her hair looked cute.

Hurry the fuck up, iPlayer team!

But before it loads, there was so much to love about this episode, namely: Arthur. Merlin. Morgana. GAIUS! UTHER. Mordred, bitches. Mordred.

And I have lost count of the pairings I saw.
Merlin/Morgana
Arthur/Morgana
Gwen/Morgana
Uther/Morgana (no, really, she was having a good week)(and lonelyfajita, are you, like, dizzy with the power of your pairing? They're so intense!
Uther/Gaius (I see this every week, but did you hear the way Gaius said his name at the start of the episode, like, "Jeez, my boyfriend is such a fucking dick!")

Right now, I think if anyone threw a pairing at me, I'd be like, sure. Whatever.

And Arthur/Merlin, obviously, because Arthur dying is unthinkable to Merlin.

Other thoughts WITHOUT the benefit of iPlayer:

1) So Arthur does go to executions, although there's every possibility Uther insisted he be there because he was arguing against the deaths in the first place. And we didn't see his reaction.

2) Arthur likes minestrone soup.

3) Gaius owns my soul. "Lizard's elbow."

4) I wonder if they'll ever do anything to explain Uther's forehead scar like it's majorly important, or if it's just there to ~~make him even hotter~~ show that he was an awesome warrior.

5) Colin Morgan looked stunning in this episode. Like, literally, every time he was on screen I stared at him. When Merlin, Morgana and Arthur were in the same room together, I was surprised the curtains didn't just burst into flames. Threesome fic! Although the three of them are jsut destined for so much angst, and that's what really got me about this episode. My heart was in my throat the entire time, and really, an episode title has never been so appropriate before. They're going to be pulled apart and hurt so much. It's heartbreaking.

6) The boy who played Mordred was both perfectly gorgeous and also chilling - his look at the end made me shiver.

I think I should probably just stop there, because there's too much from this episode whirling about in my head and I am genuinely really, really fizzing after it. In such a good way, but such an achy way, too.

But wait, I'm going over my running text log with thisissirius and have picked out some bits other than the constant OMG OMG OMG OMG parts!

Me: Cutest spell ever! (re: the boots. Adorable!)
Me: "I'm pretty sure my name is Merlin." I love him! (He has the cutest voice and inflection in the world.)
Siri (that's what I've saved you as on my phone, LOL, so that's what your name is in my head!): LOL. I'm so amused! I love them so much! (Cute keys scene, pretty genius comedy!)

The rest seriously was made up of OMG, and how heartbreaking it all was, how awesometastic Morgana was, and just. How is this series so good? I may go and weep.

Or possibly re-read moonythestrals's amazing Fratboy!AU, over here because even though I'm pretty sure everyone and their mother has read/recced this, it really is deserving of SO MUCH PRAISE.

I can't wait to read all of your reviews, guys, in much more coherent/insightful prose than mine!

And Siri, HE WILL BE FINE. You know what I mean. ;-)

Seriously, iPlayer, what is your beef tonight?!?!

ETA: As soon as I posted, iPlayer started working. Coincidence? Hmm.

69 Merlin Icons - The Gates of Avalon

2008-11-03T23:22:44Z

I really didn't mean to make 69 icons, despite it being appropriate given how bloody slashy the episode was.

But there was so much pretty in this episode it was unreal - flicking through the caps, everybody looked gorgeous. I had to tear myself away. A lot of faces, as usual, mostly Arthur, Merlin, and Morgana, and some colouring experimentation, although nothing radical - I'm too lazy!

Examples


1	2	3	4

1-68 The Gates of Avalon
69 The Poisoned Chalice (A random leftover Arthur on horseback one - dammit, there were no clear ones from this episode!)

Feel free to use as bases, if you do I'd love to see what you did, seeing as I am useless at adding text, and comment and credit is appreciated but not required!


1	2	3	4

5	6	7	8

9	10	11	12

13	14	15	16

17	18	19	20

21	22	23	24

25	26	27	28

29	30	31	32

33	34	35	36

37	38	39	40

41	42	43	44

45	46	47	48

49	50	51	52

53	54	55	56

57	58	59	60

61	62	63	64

65	66	67	68

69

Slashiest, funniest episode of Merlin ever!

2008-11-02T00:43:52Z

BBC iPlayer, please don't fail me now! I need to do train of thought commentary because I can't keep still!

Before the incoherence begins, just know that I LOVED IT. If this episode was a person, I would marry it.

Arthur floating in the water is actually really, really eerie. I know he lives, obviously, but I'm scared!

I love the theme tune.

BEST OPENING DUO SCENE EVER! Merlin banging into him! Arthur calling him a buffoon!

A: We're supposed to be hunting - it requires speed, stealth and an agile mind!
HEAD SMACK! THEY ARE IN LOVE!
M: Guess you're able to get by on two out of three, then.

BE STILL MY BEATING HEART. Arthur sword-fighting. I cannot get enough of this. And then after Merlin's brilliant magic (he learns these spells just so that in occasions like this, he can be sure he's saving Arthur), he says "Stroke of luck." Oh Arthur, you dimwit.

Arthur has a lovely bum. Especially in his tight leather hunting outfit.

A: Shut up Merlin!
Could they be any more of a married couple than they are in this?

Also, Arthur's black shirt and jacket are gorgeous, and made me go and re-read janne_d's awesome fic And None But We Can Be Such Kings, which if you haven't seen yet, is fantastic.

I don't know whether to read Arthur/Merlin in this episode as them just being adorable friends who giggle a little over girls and are like "Get in there!" like proper boys who will of course eventually realise they are meant to be together, or read it as either one of them being completely oblivious to the other's giant crush. Either way, I love their interaction so much. And even though surely someone should have questioned whether Arthur was totally with it when he started shirking his duties and defying his father (although the latter is becoming more common), the way he asked Merlin to lie to the King and the look on Merlin's face at the "friend for life" comment was too perfect for words. AND ARTHUR PUNCHED HIM IN THE ARM! LOVE.

Horseback! After what Bradley said, I'm even more obsessed about watching out for whether it's him or his double. I'm a little torn on this first shot, although later it is definitely him.

Pause, or you'll miss Gwen.

Also, lonelyfajita, what have you done to me? I see Uther/Morgana everywhere now. They're just really angsty and ridiculously attractive. It's irresistable!

Merlin so desperately trying to keep Arthur out of trouble with his father! Colin has an awesome talent for adorable humour.

That "sorry" from the guard that shot at Sophia and Arthur makes me laugh so much. As did Arthur's running off yelling angrily.

THAT WAS BRADLEY JAMES CANTERING IN WITH A VERY NICE LEG POSITION!

Arthur is such a dick with Morgana, in a fairly hilarious kind of way. And his finger-tap on the side of his goblet was really hot. I'm an idiot over him, really.

M: I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole deception lark.
And immediately he is in the stocks. Again. ROTFLMAO.

Again, I'm completely lost over Arthur: his quick turn as he and Sophia run made me swoon. Why? He just turned around while running! But it was so hot.

Merlin's look of wonder at seeing the Sidhe was gorgeous (see, thisissirius, I totally appreciate his awesome face!), and I can't wait to icon it over and over. His eyes and mouth! The Sidhe themselves reminded me of Fantasia.

Aulfric had actually got a legitimate(ish) reason for offering up Arthur, but then ruined it slightly with his evil overlord laugh.

Uther is such a parent, with his laughing at Arthur's claim of being in love and his comment to Morgana. He knows how to get Arthur to back down, as well, by threatening the innocents' (well, apparently, at that point) lives.

Uther saying "Have you got a grudge against our guests?" to Morgana is ... odd, LOL, given that he just threatende to execute them. But, they are very parental in this scene, which is where their 'ship vibes come from.

Awesome scene! Merlin looks so hurt at Arthur's words, but he's still trying desperately to help him, and kudos to Bradley for looking so believably torn as he resists the magic. And to Colin for looking so beautifully broken! And Arthur, turning round with red eyes, and that voice, was hot.

Merlin is so cute with his buzzing noise, and Gaius is so concerned. Gaius is awesome in general this week, although I've hardly mentioned him, but it's because his awesomeness is kind of a given, right?

He also looks gorgeous running through the woods, and the music they use is perfect, all haunting and then desperate. Especially paired with Arthur's horribly disturbing blank face. It's so eerie. I was genuinely terrified for them both at this point.

The rescue. We got touching, lonelyfajita. Merlin's other hand could have been anywhere. But the fact they didn't give us anything between that and the waking up was okay, because there can be so much missing scene stuff.

Arthur's face and his outrage! His pointy finger! Merlin covering for him! I could not love this episode more, and this scene shows why.

U: Someone tell me what happened.
M: Well, uh-
U: Someone with a brain.

A: After Sophia left, I wanted to take my mind off her, so I went for a hunt.
Mo: And killing things mends a broken heart?
A: No, but it's good fun.

U: Have you some kind of mental affliction?
M: Probably.
G: I'm looking into it, sire.

It's genuinely funny, and better written than anything my incoherent brain could come up with for a review.

Next week looks pretty cool too! Mordred. Dragon. :-)

Also, I was wondering if any of you think there would be an interest in transcripts of the episodes? Because I would be willing to do them - sit through the episodes? Again? What a chore!

22 Merlin Icons - A Remedy To Cure All Ills

2008-10-31T22:32:51Z

Merlin icon post of the week before tomorrow - I am so excited! Writers, you have showed the telepathic ability to give me and lonelyfajita what we've wanted before - this time, we want wet!Arthur touching, please!

No Gaius and Uther this week, despite them being awesome last Saturday, because I always make them look orange or red or purple. Like they're choking. It's not good - but there is more Merlin than usual. I just have an obsession with his cheekbones, whenever I watch him at the moment I keep hearing "Cheekbone!" in my head like the magazine delivery in the Boosh. It'd be vaguely annoying if he wasn't so pretty.

Also, I have just joined merlin_las, the Last Author Standing community for Merlin, which sounds like it'll be fantastic fun and could use more sign-ups. I know loads of you are awesome writers so if you aren't a member, go see! I'm not expecting to last long, but I'm hoping the prompts will make me more disciplined. I am such a lazy writer.

Go to merlin_las.

And, the icons!

Examples


1	2	3	4

1-22 A Remedy To Cure All Ills

Feel free to use as bases, and commenting and crediting are appreciated but not necessary.


1	2	3	4

5	6	7	8

9	10	11	12

13	14	15	16

17	18	19	20

21	22

In Which Arthur Is Unobservant (Merlin)

2008-10-27T23:53:35Z

First Merlin fic, which is a bit nerve-wracking. I was supposed to be working on The Monster, but this kind of took over my brain. It did make my five hour train journey home pass much quicker, though!

Title: In Which Arthur Is ~~Dim~~ Unobservant
Author: julesoh
Rating: Probably PG-13 - no actual naughty stuff.
Fandom: Merlin
Word Count: 2043
Summary: See title. Also, Merlin realises that his boyfriend is an idiot.
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur (Established Relationship)
Notes: Inspired by thisissirius's question at Expo this weekend about Arthur finding out about Merlin's powers. Unbeta-ed and cobbled together from stealth writings on the train and vague, rambly text fics on my phone.

“Arthur!” Merlin gasped as the future king traced a path from Merlin’s collarbone to his ear with his tongue. “Arthur, I need to talk to you.”

“Well, go for it while your lips aren’t busy,” Arthur mumbled helpfully.

“No, I mean I want to talk to you properly,” Merlin insisted, sliding his hands between their bare chests and forcing himself to push Arthur back. “Face to face.”

Arthur growled and nipped at Merlin’s earlobe before pulling back with a put-upon, frustrated sigh. “Fine! There’s something I need to talk to you about, too. Although I was hoping we could wait until, you know, after.” He rolled his hips against Merlin’s pointedly.

“This is important,” Merlin stressed quietly, letting his hands fall from Arthur’s shoulder blades to rest on his lower back. “It might affect, you know, this.” He shrugged self-consciously, chewing his lip and gesturing jerkily to where their bodies were pressed together.

Arthur, whose hands had already been low and firm on Merlin’s hips, grinned and slipped his fingers between the skin of Merlin’s waist and the drawstring of his trousers. “Everything looks fine to me,” he said lasciviously, and Merlin’s grunt of frustration turned into an involuntary moan of pleasure as Arthur dipped his head to nibble gently at his neck, and then moved down to play with his nipple.

“Arthur, no,” Merlin attempted, even as his hands automatically moved up to twist and stroke through Arthur’s hair, already darkening with sweat. Arthur ignored him, continuing to tease his nipple to hardness with a few expert swirls of his tongue. “Oh, for goodness’ sake, Arthur!” Merlin sputtered eventually, “Listen to me! I’m trying to tell you that I’m magic!”

Merlin froze in terrified anticipation as Arthur blinked up at him with wide eyes, his lips red, swollen, and parted.

“Well, you’re a pretty good shag, Merlin, but aren’t I supposed to be the arrogant one?” he asked, then flashed a smile before returning to his ministrations, dropping to one knee carefully and moving lower.

Merlin stared at the top of his lover’s head incredulously. “Are you serious?” he asked, receiving only a distracted grunt in response. “Arthur!”

He pushed Arthur a little harder this time, knocking him off-balance and stepping back. He paused briefly to adjust his trousers before ploughing determinedly on.

“I’m a sorcerer, Arthur. I cast spells. With magic. Illegally.”

Arthur stilled where he had braced himself on the flagstones, and he remained immobile for an alarmingly long time before rising slowly, looking at Merlin with an unreadable expression. He brought his knuckles up to his mouth in that gesture he always adopted when faced with something overwhelming or disappointing, and Merlin tried to regulate his shaky breathing, wrapping his arms around his body.

“But - how long - what - there were no clues!” Arthur stammered eventually, his eyes wary and confused.

Merlin squinted at him. “No clues? You are joking, aren’t you?”

Arthur’s blank expression was answer enough to that.

“Okay … firstly, I’ve always been magic. I was born with it - I couldn’t help it even if I wanted to. I’ve only ever used my magic for good, and to try and protect you – and I’ve been trying to tell you for about three weeks now. Just after we started, you know.” He waved a hand vaguely at their similar states of undress. “I didn’t think it was really fair to lie anymore, once we were … involved. I haven’t been hiding my magic from you anymore – I thought you’d have noticed. Especially in that incident with that giant moth hawk – I figured the game might have been up, what with the exploding purple fireball I conjured up right in front of you.”

“That was you?” Arthur asked.

“What did you think it was?”

“I don’t know … I’d lost a lot of blood …”

“Not that much,” Merlin said. “What about the fact that I was speaking in a different language? Didn’t you find that strange?”

Arthur shrugged hopelessly. “I find quite a lot of what you say very strange.”

Merlin scowled, but chose to ignore that comment given that Arthur’s eyebrows were raised so high by now that they were in danger of meeting his hairline. “Fine. What about this week, on Thursday, right after the tournament, when you passed me your broken sword? You asked me to fix it and I did, right in front of you, using magic! Ring any bells?”

“Did you? Oh … I wasn’t really looking at your hands or your mouth then. Those new trousers of yours are very … form fitting. It’s distracting,” Arthur said defensively.

“What about the fact that I manage to complete all of the tasks you set me in minutes, despite the fact that they would take any other servant hours, if not the whole day?” Merlin asked in exasperation. “Didn’t you think there was anything unusual about me, at all?”

Arthur lowered his eyelashes. “I had no reason to think you were hiding something from me. I trusted you.”

Merlin shifted his feet guiltily, and squirmed his way through an awkward silence before asking quietly, “And now?”

Arthur flicked his eyes up to Merlin’s, then away again, brutally fast. “I don’t know.”

Merlin swallowed heavily. “Well, magic is forbidden in Camelot. Punishment by death if you tell your father.”

This time when Arthur raised his eyes to meet Merlin’s, they were wide and more shocked than they had been at Merlin’s original confession. “I’m not going to tell my father! He’d have you killed – of course I’m not going to report you!”

“Why not?” Merlin demanded, allowing his desperation to fill his voice. “Because I’m a good shag?”

“No!” Arthur cried in outrage, and then he lowered his voice to a hushed whisper. “Because I – I love you, you complete moron.”

Merlin gaped as Arthur’s cheeks turned a flaming scarlet and he glared ferociously at Merlin.

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” Arthur explained.

“Um,” Merlin said. “Really?”

“Yes,” Arthur snarled at him. “I mean, it’s not the only reason I wouldn’t tell. In case you didn’t notice, my father is the king, not me, and the laws of Camelot are his, not mine. I don’t have to agree with them. You’ve never disapproved of me defying him before.”

“I don’t now,” Merlin said quickly. “I just – you love me? Since when? You spend all of your time insulting me, even when we’re together. Intimately.”

“That’s not true,” Arthur denied indignantly. “For the past couple of weeks I’ve gone out of my way to be nice to you.”

Merlin frowned, racking his brains. “Sorry, my memory seems to be a little faulty on that front,” he said after a moment, earning himself another vicious stare.

“On Monday,” Arthur said. “On Monday, I apologised for insulting you the previous day by calling you the most useless person to walk the earth.”

“Apologise?” Merlin yelped. “You gave me an apple you’d already bitten into, punched me on the arm, and told me I might not be the most useless person ever, but I was definitely in the top ten!”

Arthur grimaced. “The punch was supposed to be friendly. But on Wednesday, when you spilled all those drinks over my father, I made excuses for you so he wouldn’t punish you-”

“You told him I was an alcoholic with mental problems! For the third time this month!”

“-And then, later on, out hunting, I thanked you for not telling Gaius where I got that cut on my leg last week.”

“Oh, you mean when you-”

“Shut up,” Arthur cut him off.

“You were very gracious,” Merlin allowed, “But why did you then throw me in the lake right after?”

Arthur’s flush deepened. “I’m not really sure why I did that.”

“I’m sure it’s the same manly reason that you lower your voice to a ridiculous hiss whenever you actually have to say sorry, or thank you, or I love you. It’s because you’re a prat.”

“And you’re an idiot!” Arthur retorted. “You’ve been just as oblivious as me.”

“With more reason! You failed to notice me killing a huge, evil moth hawk with a ball of purple flame. I failed to see the signs of love in your slightly-less-barbed-than-usual insults and punches to the arm! How is that telling me that you love me?”

“Fine, then take my gracious decision not to turn you in as an evil sorcerer as a sign of my undying affection,” Arthur barked.

“I’m not evil,” Merlin snapped back. “I’ve only ever used my magic to protect, or heal. And sometimes to repair and clean your armour. And if you’re not going to turn me in, I’d quite like to remain as your servant.”

“You’re more than just my servant,” Arthur said, a questioning note to his voice.

Merlin looked at Arthur, noting how open his blue eyes were despite the wary frown. “I was told once it was my duty to try and protect you. I resisted at first, but over time the notion became … more appealing. I don’t want to leave. I don’t think it’s our destiny.”

“Well, thank you for saving me. I think we’d better go over how many times you’ve protected me from death sometime later. And I’d rather you didn’t leave either,” Arthur said softly after a moment, and then he quirked the corners of his mouth upwards. “I’ve only just got used to you, after all. And you are a pretty good shag.”

He sniffed and flexed his shoulders, the picture of nonchalance, and Merlin grinned slowly in a mixture of relief and gradual understanding, then landed a punch to Arthur’s upper arm. “In your language, that means I love you, right?” he asked.

The tips of Arthur’s ears turned red, which made Merlin grin even wider. “Right. And insults are affectionate. Most of the time.”

“And you forgive me for keeping my magic secret?”

“You haven’t been trying very hard to do that recently,” Arthur pointed out, and Merlin laughed.

“You still haven’t been noticing, though, dimwit!”

“I’m not dim!” Arthur protested. “Maybe just a little … unobservant.”

“Maybe just observing the wrong thing?” Merlin suggested, stepping closer to Arthur with a sway of his hips and taking his hands, placing them firmly on his buttocks.

Arthur grinned. “I wouldn’t call this wrong.” He squeezed, pulling Merlin even closer so that their bodies were pressed tightly together.

“So, just to make sure I really do understand you,” Merlin said, linking his arms behind Arthur’s neck, “You follow any compliments up with an insult, because you are a bit of a prat, but despite that, you do love me.”

Arthur nodded, if a little sheepishly.

“Now, you’ve told me you love me in this conversation, and you’ve also thanked me for saving your life about a million times, but you haven’t yet punched me and I don’t see a lake anywhere near for you to throw me in. How are you going to prove to yourself that you aren’t just a big sap?” Merlin asked with a smile, moving close and pressing a kiss to Arthur’s jaw. “Are you going to spank me? Tie me up?” He let his lips dance over the corner of Arthur’s mouth, and then whispered, “Have your wicked way with me?”

He felt Arthur grin against his mouth, and saw his eyes flash, and then within the next three seconds he found himself picked up and thrown onto the bed, Arthur landing gracefully on top of him, one knee either side of Merlin as he leant down and kissed him, closing the gap between them completely.

Merlin had been kissed by Arthur many times before, but this time it seemed different, both harder and softer at the same time, Arthur’s tongue gently but insistently pushing through his still-grinning teeth while his hands burned everywhere they touched.

By the time Arthur pulled back, Merlin was a boneless, breathless heap, looking up at his lover with glazed, hooded eyes.

“You asked for it,” Arthur panted, gratifyingly sounding as hot and bothered as Merlin felt. He grinned, pushing his hair off his face. “Idiot.”

“Yeah, yeah. I love you too.”

End.

Expo = made of WIN

2008-10-27T00:23:57Z

Expo! After being totally disorganised (a theme that lasted throughout my weekend), I finally did arrange to go, and it didn't disappoint at all.

Firstly, meeting all you guys was fab, thisissirius, shepsangel, zeitheist, krazykipper and gossy16, you're all absolutely lovely and proved to be amazing at getting there on time, being first in the queue, and then (especially you, Sissi) fielding my calls of "Where am I? How do I get in? What's going on?" with total patience.

And the con itself! Everyone above has coherent and brilliant expo reviews, and I would advise going to them for beautiful pics of the panel - both Bradley and Colin were adorable and looking gorgeous. They both have amazing hair - why didn't at least ONE of us ask to run our hands through it?

Highlights I remember:

1) In the video, I swear there was a clip of Uther in full fighting gear - so I am so excited to see that in an episode soon.
2) Bradley makes as many hilarious faces in real life as he does when he is ACTING. He sat down and immediately knocked his mic, and froze for about five seconds with this genius oh-shit face, wide eyes and everything. He was very witty and funny and apparently has a psychic link with thisissirius.
3) Colin answering the question from the small boy at the front, who wanted to know where he got his powers (said in his lovely Irish accent so it actually sounded more like "pars") was possibly the cutest thing ever. He asked him where he got his powers from - the kid was dressed as Spiderman!
4) At the signing, Johnny and Polly were lovely and said that they were going to find out whether they were going to get a second series very soon, and also that they were really confident! Yay!
5) Asked Bradley how much of his horse-riding he did, while trying not to sound too much like a creep with a total kink for men on horseback, and he said he did as much as possible, and apparently had a 'knack' for it. Colin was adorable and I asked about his accent and keeping it hidden during the show, which I'm going to guess was a question he got asked a lot that day, and then they were very sweet and posed for photos despite the big sign on the wall saying that there would be none! There were no signs warning against inappropriate touching, though, and I do think we should have taken advantage of that!

Such a good weekend, and I have stolen internet access for more than ten minutes for once! I have managed to watch Merlin, too, but with a non-fandom friend so I don't think it had the full impact. I'll catch up properly tomorrow night. And, continuing the disorganised trend of my ~~life~~ weekend, I forgot to bring the paper copy of my fic (12,000 words rough draft, and I haven't had them kiss yet. It needs WORK.) to check over on the train. I suck. (Anyone good at brutal cutting?) But also, it's difficult to attempt to write an NC-17 slash scene while sitting next to a middle-class woman eating an M&S salad. It felt a bit scandalous!

41 Merlin Icons

2008-10-24T12:26:29Z

I really hate odd numbers - but I am also too lazy to open up PSP and make another one.

I'm away this weekend but should be able to watch the episode sometime on Sunday, hopefully - and it's possible I might make the Expo! Which would be brilliant, although I haven't quite worked everything out yet.

Still, have a lovely weekend, everyone, I can't wait to read everyone's brilliant reviews as usual!

Examples


1	2	3	4

01-33 Lancelot
34-40 The Mark of Nimueh
41 BBC Promo

Feel free to use as bases - I am rubbish at text, so would love to see anything you make with these - and comment and credit is appreciated but not mandatory!


1	2	3	4

5	6	7	8

9	10	11	12

13	14	15	16

17	18	19	20

21	22	23	24

25	26	27	28

29	30	31	32

33	34	35	36

37	38	39	40

41

Lancelot - Quite Slashable

2008-10-19T00:18:26Z

I rarely post long reviews like this, but my brain has been taken over by Merlin and I'm really hyper tonight. I actually missed it on TV tonight, unexpectedly went to see a friend and ended up going for dinner, and then when I finally got back, avoided LJ spoilers, and pressed play on iPlayer, another friend called and stayed on the phone the entire way through! And I didn't press stop, because it was one of those conversations where I could just make the right noise at the right time and she was quite happy. And so I used my mobile to tap in a few random thoughts while the episode was going on. Then I went back, and watched the episode properly, and wrote a much, much longer commentary because I couldn't always make sense of the text commentary.

And so, TV reviews under cut. But I am waiting excitedly for reviews from other people who take the time and effort to cap stuff, like the awesome lonely_fajita (no pressure hon! ;-p), or all the other fab people on the Merlin comms who put real thought into what they're writing, not just, pretty!pretty!pretty!huh?pretty!touching!

Transcribed almost exactly from my texting, but with the many spelling mistakes and typos removed.

Shrooms! Dumbass bird. Why no Lancelot chest? ARTHUR ON HORSEBACK! The GREAT Arthur. A/M CLEARLY SEXXING. Ultimate killing machine LOL! Merlin is shit at stealth. Gwen wear your hair down all the time you look so cute. Posh voice! Merlin so cute! HOTTEST SCENE EVER I AM GOING TO DIE HAPPY NOW! BAM! POW! AWESOME! Next fight not so awesome. Smart Uther! Loves it! Merlin is so funny! I think I might be a bit in love with Morgana myself. Hand to face hot. Go Arthur stand up for him! Sexy shouting. Okay fighting. Uther! Listen! Merlin, do magic please. Oh! So sweet! ARTHUR LOVE. Gwen/Lancelot totally could've kissed there. Oh no Arthur! BAM! Hugs! Fight! FACE! Cool.

Proper rewatch!

One of Merlin's duties is picking mushrooms? Either Arthur has a craving or he's doing a few jobs for Gaius too.

So, I think it's probably been worked out that the CGI itself isn't bad, but the blending is pretty gosh darn awful. This scene is just - not made of awesome. Because Lancelot's sword looks like it goes through the Griffon's (Gryphon? How are we spelling it? I just went on the BBC site to see if they had any mention of it, and the only description was 'terrifying flying monster' - so thanks, BBC. Also, as I am a total sucker and do play the little rune game, just to see what I get, how about some decent rewards? A copy of Lancelot's fake seal of nobility and a clip from the episode I have just watched do not excite me. Why can't we get a message reading, CONGRATULATIONS, YOU HAVE UNCOVERED SOME SECRET ARTHUR/MERLIN PORN!) leg quite obviously, and also, the creature runs away because they hide behind a log? It is scared of fallen trees? Perhaps they should have passed this tactical information on to Arthur.

Why no Lancelot chest?

Men riding horses is probably one of my biggest kinks, ever. I really love the bay they've chosen for Arthur, and of course Uther's horse is a very flashy black. They're so serious here, real leaders, and I do like how trusting Uther is of Arthur here. They're doing their job, as father and son, and not fighting or anything. Just being sensible and important, and I really, really love their interaction.

"The great Arthur!" *dies* Also, I kind of want Merlin as my life-coach. And Lancelot's hair-care products, look how full of volume his hair is!

"You know Arthur?"
"Oh yes!"

Arthur/Merlin slash quota for the episode FULFILLED.

I didn't think I could love Arthur more, but then he calls himself the ultimate killing machine and I totally, totally can! He's like the obnoxious, arrogant boyfriend who is only ever nice to you in private, and even then he instantly takes it back (although he makes cute, feeling faces so you know he does care), and all your friends are like, "Really? You're going out with him?" and you just can't quite explain why you love him so much!

I'd forgotten how hilarious this guy's moves are! Seriously, just go watch his walk again. It crippled me. Also, action!Arthur! And I love his eye-roll at the end. Not just because of his amazing rubber face in general, but because it shows how gutted he is there aren't enough knights.

Merlin is being awfully tolerant of Arthur this episode, isn't he? Hardly any comebacks. Probably because he's a little bit in love with Lancelot already. Oh, but that last, "Thanks Arthur!" is so cute.

Hee, Merlin's little X-Factor fooled-ya acting! And Lancelot is so nice and grateful and open with his feelings. Quite different to Arthur.

Uther's reasons for the first code are sound and logical. I understand why they're contested, but his reasons are sound. He's a super-shrewd tactician.

Encyclopedia Gaius! And Merlin for the people!

The way they speak in this episode is the most traditional and formal I've heard it so far.

Merlin is all cat-like when he's looking for something. It's bizarrely alluring. But yes, he is a bit shit at stealth.

Okay, Merlin, you're cute and all and you're doing the right thing, but don't say it is bending the rules when it is clearly breaking them. I call BS. He is going to be so good at getting his own way when he and Arthur are officially boyfriends.

Gwen is gorgeous with her hair down, although I suspect she's also suddenly stunning because she's so much more relaxed here, and so competent. And it's a really sweet scene. Lancelot kissing her hand was just adorable! I'm all for the Gwen/Lancelot, for obvious reasons. Although has she got the best memory ever? She's not writing any of the measurements down! Gwen for the people - I like her when she's all social-revolutionary. Which she is a little bit, here, and apparently there's more of that to come.

Merlin clearly not bothered by Gwen's kiss then.

I do love Arthur's voice, it's so clear and cutting and, yes, quite posh. Anything involving Arthur leading his men, or teaching his men, or being shown as a proper, awesome knight, makes me super-happy. And I found him smacking Lancelot (Lance-a-lot? LOL Arthur!) really hot. It made me do that laugh you do when you see a really funny but painful clip on You've Been Framed.

Thumbs up! Adorkable!

Gaius is so cool, and a pretty awesome parent/guardian. I really adore the way these two play off one another, they're so snarky and affectionate it hurts. Plus, parallel: Gaius' protectiveness and worry over Merlin, yet his basic belief that he is awesome and will be able to use his magic, and Uther's protectiveness and worry over Arthur, yet his basic belief that he is awesome and will be able to use his strength. Shown in very different ways, obviously.

Seriously, I was actually a teensy bit underwhelmed by this episode on the whole, although split into little bits I like it. It's not one I will be watching over and over, like The Poisoned Chalice and Valiant. But the stickfight was amazing, and I will probably rewind and play it so much I break my computer. It was just SO HOT. I mean, for a start, it's good. It's well choreographed, and clearly the stunt men weren't used much, and they really look like they're fighting hard and putting effort in. Also, hello there, drawstring shirts of gaping-chest-awesomeness! It's so fast! One-handed showing off! SHOULDER BASH! Arrogant grinning! Poking!

And then the one minute trial. I may change my mind, but I'm not crazy about it. Sure, it's pretty. Arthur's helmet draws the eye to his cute action pout, and it's another cool fight, but really? The end part? It wasn't that good. It was a bit of a trick, which isn't that chivalric or knightly, and so I'm choosing to believe that Arthur had him knighted either on the strength of that solid sword smash to Arthur's helmet earlier on, or that in between his kneeling there and in the court, they fought some more and Lancelot was naturally awesome without feigning unconsciousness. I mean, I find that move annoying anyway. If you're okay, roll over and flipping well give it some welly! If you're not, well, tough luck and if it were a real fight, you'd be dead. And Lancelot is better than that.

Okay, mini-rant over. It's just that the whole episode is about Lancelot being good enough to be a knight despite being from the lower classes, so they could have shown him being good enough in a better way, I think. No really, it's over this time. Morgana is kinda hoochie with her appreciation of Lancelot, I like it!

Competent Uther rocks. And really, Lancelot's excuse sucked, although I liked that it wasn't a lie.

Arthur punched him in the arm! I was just about to say that Arthur/Lancelot wasn't as obvious or appealing as Merlin/Lancelot, maybe because Lancelot just seems too in awe of Arthur, but we know that Arthur's arm/shoulder punches are practically steamy embraces in his language.

I just want to be Merlin's best friend, so he can make adorably snarky jokes to me and smile like that! He is so loveable.

Monmouth looks so disapproving - he's going to be in lots next week I think. Him and Gaius are old friends apparently. Another pairing?

I still ship Arthur/Morgana like woah. I'm guessing Arthur is slightly drunk at this point, I'm also a little concerned (actually, no, I'm not, it would be so hot) that he is proposing a threesome, and Morgana is being so hilariously flirty this episode. I would even be okay with them being related, because it sort of makes it even hotter. Does that make me sick? I don't care, look at them.

Gwen's, "You're probably right," wasn't as awkward this time. It had an air of, Yeah, look who's talking, dumbass, you were completely oblivious to my crush on you before I got over that and moved on to Lancelot! Merlin grabbing as much ale as possible. Is he doing anything man-servanty this episode? Maybe Arthur has put him on light duties after his poisoning because he is secretly so caring!

See? Merlin would be such a fun best friend. And that whole scene was pretty tongue-in-cheek and funny - good work, show.

Of course Gaius has the hangover cure we all want. He's just that cool.

Arthur always puts his hand to the bridge of his nose, or his mouth, when he's feeling overwhelmed or just having an 'oh shit' moment. It's a move I approve of, because it's hot and his rings please me. So do his nice bracelets.

Uther's, "You contest my judgement?" I think Arthur questioning and standing up to his dad is becoming quite a common occurrence. Merlin is a really good influence, I think it all goes back to the first episode, him standing up to Arthur. BUT! Uther still does have a point, because Lancelot lied. It might be a flawed code, but it is a code. I'm so torn!

Merlin and Lancelot would be a slightly too-nice couple, wouldn't they? They're just so polite, taking the blame for one another. It'd all get old quickly, despite the fact they'd be very pretty together. Merlin and Arthur have a bit more fire.

Lousy blending isn't as noticeable this time, and Arthur shouting will never not be cool. He gets to be very heroic here, and it's nice that they show that he really is the best fighter of them all. It's just a bit of a shame the other knights look so useless, even if it is to emphasise the flaws in the code, because some of those knights looked about twelve. That first code is just so limiting. But I think it needs amending, not totally abolishing.

Fighting babble: ooh, love the grip-switch! Arthur's hilarious oh-shit face is going to inspire so many icons and captions. I can't wait! Also, why are there no archers around to maybe see off the terrifying flying monster? Would that not be a good idea, huh? Snaggletooth!

Uther's affectionate but rough head push is so cute. So that's where Arthur gets it from! And even though he's being a dick when he ignores Encyclopedia Gaius, the way he pats Arthur's shoulder and is still proud of him after he backs up Gaius just makes me love him more. Arthur looks almost apologetic as he looks back at them.

At first, I was all like, you don't mind a spot of mystical forgery, but killing an evil monster with your magic makes you balk? Come on, Merlin! But watching it again, it;s really quite sweet that he is scared. Because it shows that he's a little afraid of his magic, because it is so powerful, and it's also very natural. And it leads to the cutest scene between Gaius and Merlin ever. I actually clutched at my chest, it was so touching.

Arthur shouting at Lancelot but complimenting him, then saying the wrong words - could he be any more complicated and broken? And he's just trying so hard, and he doesn't really talk to anyone about anything in real words. I'm a shameless Arthur fangirl but God, he's got it pretty tough.

And letting Lancelot leave is a pretty big act of defiance against Uther, and it is a move based solely on feelings, and the camera team must trust Bradley James' face an awful lot because it's only Episode 5 and there are countless shots like this where he is left to emote in the foreground while events happen behind him.

Correction from earlier: I want Gaius to be my life-coach.

Gwen and Lancelot have some serious chemistry. I am, surprisingly, now looking forward to seeing how Arthur and Gwen are going to play off one another. We've seen nothing yet.
The soundtrack to this show is startlingly good, you know.

Colin Morgan plays frustration incredibly well. And he's so brave, running off with Lancelot after Arthur when he isn't even sure he can do anything. "If Arthur dies because I'm not good enough ..." That's not even about destiny any more - hey, no slash dragon again! - that's just Merlin worried about Arthur. Their relationship has come so far.

FOR CAMELOT! Oh no, they're all going to die!

Hearing the fight was much better than seeing it - mostly because of the lack of poor CGI. And it was quite eerie, too.

Nice follow-up to last week, Merlin rushing to Arthur's side. And the way he breathes his name - oh!

Lancelot's horse is gorgeous! (They totally let him keep it at the end, too. Which is nice of them!)

So thisissirius has already written a fantastic coda to this ep, where she describes what's going through Merlin's head while he's saying the words. It is awesome, and over here, and it says more than I could about this scene and makes it AMAZING.

Gaius and Merlin hugs! Awwww!

I want hurt/comfort missing scenes, by the way, with Arthur's head wound, because I am demanding and love hurt/comfort!

Arthur would never have taken the credit, ever. I love him. And I like the idea of Uther and him having fights behind closed doors a lot, with Morgana present, and it being tense and very dysfunctional. And Merlin always being either very nice to Arthur afterwards, or, even better, joking around, being an idiot, and generally distracting him to lift his bad mood. My OTP makes me so sappy.

But Uther listens, this time. And Arthur demands more, and sounds extremely confident, and calls him "father", not "sire", which always makes me flinch a little.

Lancelot, you rock. That is so honourable. God, Arthur looks so devastated. That's slashable, but it's also like he's being left by a knight who was really good at being a knight, and being left by someone who inspired him to really go for it against Uther. Fuck, I don't care what it is, I just want Arthur to make that face a lot. It's heartbreakingly gorgeous.

Bye Santiago Cabrera! You were fantastic, please come back next series - or even later in this one!

I have never femmeslashed, but Morgana/Gwen would really work for me. This show has made me into a pairings slut.

In short (hah!), I actually both liked it and disliked it more on repeated viewing. And it still won't be my favourite to rewatch (except that scene). But it's still my favourite program at the moment, and next week looks interesting. Julian Rhind-Tutt!

ETA: After having rewatched it a few *ahem* more times, although it still isn't my favourite episode, it's definitely my third favourite, and I do like how much bigger it seemed to feel than the past four eps - and also the fact that they tackled a big part of the mytharc and tackled it well, which is also two fingers up to the reviews lambasting it for warping the legend. Which, hello, it's a legend. It can be changed, and has been for centuries!

You totally don't watch it! Silent Witness rocks, guys.

Fuck it, I don't care. Just know that you all should. Blah blah, the plots are pretty intricate and clever, and it's nicely shot and smart and acted and all that, but mostly: Harry. He is the funniest character on television at the moment, and he's really good-looking and he steals every scene that he's in. He suits purple, he has the nicest smile, he was so nice with the lesbian cop's partner, and then that scene with Nikki at the end? He's so snarkily gallant. And despite her idiocy this episode (really, if someone has just attacked you and beaten you and thrown you to the ground and stolen your laptop, you CALL THE POLICE. You don't run after them.) So I was entirely unsympathetic that she got a gun pointed at her head. Harry wasn't particularly worried about her in this ep, aside from being cute in the last scene, and I like to think it's because he thought she was being a dick too. And next week it looks like he's going to be in it loads, running around with his posh voice and his slight lisp and genius one-liners! You may not care, but YOU ARE ALL MISSING OUT. BIG TIME.


1	2	3	4

5	6	7	8

9	10	11	12

13	14	15	16

17	18	19	20

21	22	23	24

25	26	27	28

29	30	31	32

33	34	35	36

37	38	39	40

41	42	43	44

45	46	47	48

49	50	51	52

53	54	55	56

57	58	59	60

61	62	63	64

65	66	67	68

69


1	2	3	4

5	6	7	8

9	10	11	12

13	14	15	16

17	18	19	20

21	22	23	24

25	26	27	28

29	30	31	32

33	34	35	36

37	38	39	40

41


1	2	3	4

5	6	7	8

9	10	11	12

13	14	15	16

17	18	19	20

21	22	23	24

25	26	27	28

29	30	31	32

33	34	35	36

37	38	39	40

41	42	43	44

45	46	47	48

49	50	51	52

53	54	55	56

57	58	59	60

61	62	63	64

65	66	67	68

69


1	2	3	4

5	6	7	8

9	10	11	12

13	14	15	16

17	18	19	20

21	22	23	24

25	26	27	28

29	30	31	32

33	34	35	36

37	38	39	40

41


1	2	3	4

5	6	7	8

9	10	11	12

13	14	15	16

17	18	19	20

21	22	23	24

25	26	27	28

29	30	31	32

33	34	35	36

37	38	39	40

41	42	43	44

45	46	47	48

49	50	51	52

53	54	55	56

57	58	59	60

61	62	63	64

65	66	67	68

69


1	2	3	4

5	6	7	8

9	10	11	12

13	14	15	16

17	18	19	20

21	22	23	24

25	26	27	28

29	30	31	32

33	34	35	36

37	38	39	40

41