These biscuits aren't that nice
I FEEL REALLY GUILTY, OKAY, BECAUSE NOT LOVING MERLIN AS MUCH AS USUAL FEELS LIKE KICKING A PUPPY WHILE LISTENING TO NAILS DRAGGING ALONG A BLACKBOARD. BUT. IT WASN'T AS AWESOME AS I'D HOPED. D:

There is more positive stuff under the cut, I promise, I did love it and I love my show and I love the characters and I'm happy. I just - I could be happier.



Because there were positives, okay, Arthur's lovely, hairy chest being one of them. I am so pleased, shepsangel, so, so pleased. I just want to cuddle him. And lick him. And bury my hands in that chest hair. *swoon*

And I cannot say enough how amazing Colin Morgan was, seriously. Every moment he was on screen, he totally acted his little socks off. He makes the cheesiest, most unwieldy lines sound natural and gives them a whole number of layers. He also rode a horse loads, which I loved, and he mounted and dismounted and I flailed ridiculously. Analogue has been turned off where I live so the episode was very fuzzy, my dad hijacked the satellite, but I'll check out his heel position later. Also, he looks gorgeous wet, and he really took my breath away in the scene where his boat approaches the Isle of the Blessed.

Uther carrying Arthur was gorgeous, seriously. One of my favourite things about Uther is how much he adores Arthur, and he was actually fairly fantastic in this, I though - he dismissed Gaius' portent of doom but I didn't really see what else he was supposed to do about it. And he was concerned about his son and stroked his cheek and was essentially, a good father.

Gwen soothing Morgana - one of the best character moments in the episode. Just sums up the trust and love they have.

Shirtless Arthur and Nimueh's leg baring - she looked hot. No wonder she looks ridiculously smug, all the time.

BUT.

The negative. IDK. It's like, for the past twelve weeks, whenever I sat down in front of my TV to watch Merlin, it was with a sense of trepidation, like, it's a BBC Saturday night children;s fantasy show. At some point, they are going to fuck up completely and make it awful. But it never did that, every week it exceeded my expectations, and then this week, it suddenly missed them entirely, after spending so long building them up.

I expected their usual simple plotting that left time for short, sweet, but revealing character moments. This felt rushed, and then lazy, all at once. There was a cute Arthur/Merlin spear thing at the beginning, but why waste time having them see the monster, go back and tell everyone they've seen the monster, then see the monster again? Why not have a short expositional scene where they're heading out to kill a monster that's been terrorising them, and have the whole bit about it being an omen then, and play the credits after Arthur has been struck? IDK, that's probably not the best solution, but there has to be a less awkward way of starting the story and getting it moving quicker and more effectively.

And then, the actual injury to Arthur itself. There is no excuse for the shit CGI blending, okay? It was rubbish, worse than awful. I think I would have found unedited ping pong balls more bearable to watch. WTF was Arthur flailing his sword at? They build him up as this awesome warrior, and he's shown that in hand-to-hand combat, but this? He swiped a bit then collapsed. NO. What I would have liked to see would be a better battle, but also the other knights suffering too, and Arthur possibly leaping in front of Merlin to slice at the creatures paw - it had paws, right? He was given fuck all else to do in the episode save moan and writhe sexily. I don't disagree with that aspect, obviously, but still. They didn't really do Arthur justice in this episode. When he woke up, he was acting as prattishly as he did in episode one, which doesn't exactly make you think, wow, I'm so glad Merlin saved him.

Oh, wait, sorry, something that should definitely have been on the POSITIVE list: Merlin's desperation to save Arthur. I mean, it's canon he loves him now, I think. We already know his dying is unthinkable, and this just reiterates it.

But, continuing from Arthur being useless this episode, why do that? Why make a character you've spent ages developing act like an idiot again? This might sound like sour grapes; Arthur is my favourite character, and I'm just bitter he wasn't used more, etc. But I don't think it is that, because I loved it when Arthur was an arrogant dick when he shot the unicorn. I like seeing him being selfish and cocky and a spoiled brat prince, because that's what he is. What he is not, anymore, is someone who doesn't listen to Merlin, and who jokes with Gwen.

I love Arthur/Gwen, I really do, but what I love about them is their quiet mutual respect and affection. I did enjoy Gwen's speech to Arthur, but the scene where he asks her to repeat what she said didn't ring true to me, and overall I think two quieter, subtler moments would have been more beneficial. Just a shared smile, or a nod, or a couple of sincere lines, would have had five times the effect, whether seeing them as friends or future lovers, whatever.

And it would have given them more time. The overwhelming thought I had about this episode was that it was just so rushed. It felt like they'd written and filmed it on the spot, without really planning it out first. __justaday very sensibly suggested to me that maybe it felt rushed because it was rushed, that they wrote it haphazardly and quickly, possibly while waiting to hear if the second series had been picked up. Which is fair enough, I suppose. But. It's also not. I just - guys, so many of you out there could have written and staged it better, you know? I'm so excited to see your fanfic, but I would love to have seen what you geniuses would have come up with, plotwise. It didn't live up to the potential of the trailer.

There was a lot of useless chatting, for one thing, and then loss of little things that were a bit stupid: Merlin's first deal with Nimueh, where I swear, babies who haven't even been born yet were standing up in their wombs going, "Merlin, you retard, didn't you listen? She just told you that your life wasn't the one you were bargaining with!" That's what I mean about giving Colin Morgan better material. He makes Merlin adorable and smart and funny and useful. The script, however, does not in this case.

There were scenes that didn't ring true, either, like when they brought Arthur to Gaius and he kind of flutters around him and asks if he can hear him, doesn't even examine the wound? What? I know he knows that the creature's bite will kill him, but basic first aid should be pretty fucking natural to him by now. He barely even tries to cop a feel, and that's odd too. ;-)

I really hate doing this, honestly. I still love my show. And I'm not angry about this ending, or anything, I'm just disappointed. What a ridiculous parent I sound like. But - it just could have been done better. Arthur didn't actually die, which took away from the power of the episode, and although having Hunith turn up sick was an interesting twist, everything seemed very easy at the end, with Nimueh's death - I hope she's not dead, not really, or at least comes back to visit Morgana. Morgana got a bit of a cliffhanger, at least, whatever the fuck was going on with her. And did Hunith recover? We didn't see that - although I have a feeling she did. Why was Gaius suddenly alive again? He delivered that annoying, throwaway line about Merlin suddenly conquering the magic of life and death, which, NO. It's not that simple, and it's not okay. The balance having to be restored should be something that can never be in Merlin's power. That's too much power. I may have been watching too many LOTR extras recently (Sean Bean is fit) but: Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. So no, okay, just no. Also, WTF? How did he learn that? In that spell book, in the index, is it like, MAKE BOOTS WALK CUTELY.....PAGE 61, CONJURE SPARKLY DRAGONS IN THE AIR.....PAGE 13, CONQUER THE FORCES OF LIFE AND DEATH AND ESSENTIALLY BECOME GOD....PAGE 86?

I'm genuinely, genuinely shocked at how ranty this has become, and how incoherent and odd. Sorry, LOL. I think I'm apologising to the show, too. IDK. I need a hug. And I meant it - I'm not out of love or anything, I'm just as in love with them all as I ever was. I'm just confused and a little bit sad and overwhelmingly convinced that many of you could have done better, and will do better in fic. Have done better, already, in the case of this gorgeous fic by the lovely thisissirius.

But, I'm excited! We have a series two, and I'm sure it's going to be awesome, and I know there's going to be a ton of genius stuff in the interim - we are a creative bunch, guys! And there's loads of us! :-D



As usual, longer and whinier and more ridiculous than I expected it to be, and I'm oddly conflicted. But, I have Rifleman Harris diaries to cheer me up, and there is nothing more delightful than watching Sean Bean in his Sharpe uniform, smoking a fag and listening to football results and reading Esquire. And spilling coffee over himself. El Beano, I love you.